I have a brother

I have a brother. Well, actually, I have 2 now! Ironically, they are both the same age. ;)
A few days ago I got a friend request on facebook from someone I didn't know. I try and post scripture and things of that nature on my facebook, hoping that it will in some way bless someone else, so I approve everybody, even if I don't know you. So I accepted, and did my usual snooping trying to figure out who this person was and why on earth they would request me as a friend. Nothing rang a bell. We had no mutual friends, the pictures didn't look at all familiar. I told Brian, "I wonder why people who don't know you request to be your friend, isn't that weird?". The next day I got a message asking if I was my Dad's daughter. I said yes, and after a few messages back and forth, I got a message saying that her husband was my Dad's son. I was at a Dr appt with my Mom, and my mouth dropped (literally!). My Mom knew nothing about this, and neither did I. I gave her my phone number so we could talk, and when I hung up the phone, I now had a brother, sister in law, and two nieces! I suppose I always had them, just never knew it. That afternoon I got to talk with my brother twice, and it was awesome. He is in the army. They live in Tennessee, but will be moving to Virgina this year. He loves God! We talked for an hour, and a lot of our conversation was centered on Christ. That is just pretty amazing to me. Of course, there are a lot of feelings of hurt, confusion, and anger that I need to deal with. But knowing I have a brother, and he has a beautiful family is such an amazing addition to my life, and truly a blessing! Hopefully I will get to meet them later on this year. Another thing I found interesting was the fact that him, my soon to be brother in law, and my nephew all have the same first and middle name. How weird is that? I am excited about this door that has been opened in my life, and can't wait to get to know all of them better!! Now I have 2 brothers and a sister. I'm still the baby though! ;)

11 weeks, 4 days

Today I went to the dr again. No big news to tell. I heard the heartbeat, it was 160. I still weigh a whopping 108 ;) and I'm not sure how I haven't gained weight. I couldn't button my pants this morning, and I certainly feel heavier, but still 108. Because all of my bloodwork was normal and everything is progressing well, I don't have to go back for a month! This is bittersweet for me. I am super nervous this pregnancy, so going every 2 weeks to make sure everything is okay sounds just fine to me. On the other hand, however, I know that going that often just means more money, so I'll just be patient and trust God. =) Sitting in the dr office brings up all kinds of bad memories. Today I was especially annoyed because the waiting room was packed, and men were sitting in chairs while pregnant women were standing up. I think it is pathetic that I was willing to give up my chair for a woman far along in her pregnancy, but none of the 3 men in the room budged. I just wasn't raised like that, we were raised with manners. Anywho, I'm going to post a picture, even though I haven't gained any weight. I thought it would be neat to blog about my dr appts and include a picture from the day, so here is todays.

Storytime at the library

Today I took my kids to story time at our local library for the first time. I had never tried it before because I was intimidated by taking a 2, 3, and 4 yr old out somewhere like that. I always have this fear that one of them may run off, and I won't really be able to chase them without leaving the others behind. Crazy, I know. Since I just have my babies now, I've decided I would take them to do more fun activities like that. Kaylee was very excited about going to the "libary". Of course, as soon as we walked in, she was glued to my leg. There were a few kids there, and it wasn't time to start yet, so they were just playing with some toys at the front. Brian jumped right in, and even went and sat beside a little boy and played cars with him. Kaylee, however, wouldn't leave my side. A man walked in (Oh! The horror!) and sat down to start reading. He had cute little songs with dances to go with them that he did between each book, then after reading 3 books, the kids did a craft. Kaylee wouldn't get up and sing or dance, so Brian wouldn't either. I could tell Kaylee was enjoying it though, because she had that smile on her face. It isn't a full on smile, it's kind of a hidden smile, where she doesn't want to let people know that she is actually having fun. On the way home we talked about why she was scared and didn't want to participate, and she told me, "If we keep going there when I am 5, then I won't be scared anymore and I'll sing along. Maybe, some girls who are 5 aren't scared anymore". Of course! That makes perfect sense! Not. All in all, they had fun and we are going to try to go every week.

On a different note, since I'm here blogging, I'm begging for your prayers. Kaylee is going through another of her infamous phases where she is completely disrespectful to me, disobedient, and constantly in trouble. For over a week now her room has been empty because she has been grounded from all of her stuff. Sunday she was good, so I was going to give it back to her, but hadn't had time to move it back in her room. By Monday, she lost her rights to her things, again! Monday she was chasing her brother around with a spoon, and I'm not sure exactly what she did, but he was crying saying she hurt him. I was trying to talk to her about it and she just kept saying "I didn't hurt him". I was trying to explain that sometimes we hurt people without realizing that we hurt them, and that we should still apologize. This MUST have upset her, because she raised her hand like she was about to hit me! When I discipline the kids, I always get on their level to talk to them, so she would have hit me right in the face. (It wouldn't be the first time that has happened) I was so upset I sent her to her room. Thankfully, Brian was home to deal with it. I would have NEVER gotten away with anything like that as a child. Kaylee is literally the most stubborn child I have ever met. Anyone who has been around my child much would probably agree. I am very consistent with her, so I am always amazed at the limits she goes to in testing me. Yesterday I almost in tears, and I asked her what was going on with her. Why was she acting this way now, and what could I do to help her. She said, "I just need some attention, I want to spend more time with you". This made me sad, and confused. You see, I spend every waking moment with her, literally. She isn't napping anymore, so we spend one on one time together doing school work or watching a movie. I usually don't even shower until after they have gone to bed, so I'm not sure how much more time she needs lol. Last night after we had gone to bed, she snuck in our room. She wanted to sleep with us because she was scared of the dark. I explained to her that God made the dark, and it was good. There wasn't anything that would hurt her. I also explained that I was scared of the dark sometimes too, and that we all had different things we are scared of, but we have to face those fears. Then, she started to cry and say that she didn't want to go back to bed because she didn't get to spend any time with us. I think she has found something that will get my sympathy, and is trying to manipulate me. Of course, it breaks my heart to hear her say that, but I know it isn't true. So, pray for patience and diligence for me, and that my daughter would be saved.

One more story, because I never sit down to blog, I want to get them all out there before I forget. This past weekend we went to eat at a friend's Uncle's restaurant. It is a hibachi place that just opened. We had a few different types of sushi that were all SO good! Kaylee loved the sushi, and kept asking for more. The food was delicious as well. I am thankful my kids are adventurous with food. When we were leaving, our friends Aunt came and gave the kids each a bottle of Japanese soda. It is a cool glass bottle that has a marble in it. Kaylee has never had soda, except maybe a sip or two here and there that was given to her behind our backs. This was carbonated, but had no caffeine, so we decided to go ahead and let her have it. She liked it, a lot. She said, "Mom, this is soury. How do they get all those bubbles in there?" lol. She didn't know what to think of it. When we got home, Brian took the top off the bottle and took the marble out. Kaylee cried because she wanted to save the bottle. (Wonder where she got that from?!) We told her she could have Bub's, because we weren't fond of giving him any soda anyways.
I realize this is really long, sorry. Just needed to sit down and write while I had the time. =)

Christmas 2010

This Christmas was possibly the best Christmas I've ever had. Everything didn't go right; I got way too stressed out trying to "get it all done" before the festivities began; I missed my family Christmas party because it was on a Sunday, and we couldn't make it after church; there are still broken family relationships that we mourn, especially around the holidays. But despite all of that, this Christmas was the best.
We decided this year that we would complete all of our Christmas festivities before Christmas day, so that Christmas day would be just ours. We would have no plans, nowhere to be, nothing to do. And that is just what we did!
Christmas Eve we had a small gathering with our family (yes, Chrissy, that includes you!). We had yummy food, presents, and afterward some of us went to the Christmas Eve service at church. It was great, a very special time for me. Afterwards, we had dinner with some great friends, and that time was very special to me as well.
On to Christmas day! We had stayed out late Christmas Eve, so we all slept in Christmas Day. When we finally got up, Brian made breakfast and we all ate. Then we went and read our bible as a family for a little bit, then we opened presents. We stayed in our pajamas ALL day, ate leftovers and easy stuff, and just did nothing. If we celebrated a Sabbath day, I imagine it would be much like our Christmas day.
As we grow in Christ, I believe the way we celebrate his birth will grow as well. This year was better than last, and I pray that our lives would glorify God more and more, and that he would use us for His purpose. Praying that 2011 brings much growth in our lives, and all glory to God, for only He is worthy!

Beautiful gift

A few weeks ago, I received a very special gift. After I had the miscarriage, a lady I used to work with found out about it, and shared it with the ladies she goes to church with. At Eagle Heights Fellowship, they have a prayer quilt ministry, and they kindly made me a quilt to remember the baby. There were so many emotions attached to receiving this gift, I regret not documenting it all sooner. For one, I am just in awe of how God works through his children, using them to bring peace, love and kindness to ones who are in need. These ladies, who don't even know me, took time to pray for me, and sew a quilt for me. In the quilt there are pieces of yarn tied in knots. Each knot represents a special prayer said just for me. When I first got the blanket, it just reminded me of how we are united by Christ. Believers all over the world, although we may not know one another, are all brothers and sisters. This is a picture of that, believers serving a sister in need. The blanket is beautiful, and you can see all the love put into every stitch. I am very grateful for the ladies, and pray that God continues to bless their ministry. I will forever treasure this gift they have given me. To God be the glory!

2 years old already?!

My baby boy just turned 2! The time seems to have flown by, it seems like just yesterday he was my teeny tiny baby. I'm a little late on documenting this, along with other things, but I'm trying to catch up!
Here are some things he enjoys, and things he has learned:
He is a very smart little boy, and he likes to learn. When I do school work with sister, he always wants to sit and color or do flash cards. He knows most of his colors, and is getting better at pronouncing them.
Naked, Thank you, and napkin all sound like the same exact word.
He is VERY into trucks and trains, and he likes to lay on the floor and play with them.
He loves for me to sing "Rock a bye baby" to him, and rock him back and forth on my lap. He will come up to me and say "Rock a baby, Mama" It is the cutest thing.
His favorite song to sing is "Jesus loves me". He calls it "Jesus lala bable", or something that sounds about like that. ;)
Nearly everyday, he will go get my phone, bring it to me and say "Dada", wanting to call and talk to his Dad at work.
He calls Kaylee "Lelee", and Mia "Meme"
He has a shoe fetish. He will get stuck on one pair of shoes, and want to wear it all day...even to bed.
He has gotten very used to going to eat lunch with Dad, so when we leave during the day he says "Dada's work, lunch?". If we don't leave, he will sometimes ask to go eat lunch with him.
He loves the camera, and is very photogenic.
There are so many more, but in an effort to get everything done, I'm gonna stop there.

On Saturday, the 11th, we celebrated his birthday with a party that included family and close friends. There were lots of kids, and I think they really enjoyed playing. Caden, a little boy we go to church with, asked Bubba, "Can I come back to your house and play sometime?". I'm not sure if Bubba really knew what he was asking, but he said "yes" and Caden was SO excited. I thought it was very cute. He got to pick his own cake, and he picked Thomas the Train. We ate, opened presents, and talked as the kids played. He got a few outfits, a buzz lightyear costume, 2 pair of shoes, some pajamas, a tricycle, and a lot of toys.
I'm very thankful for everyone who came to celebrate with us. We are very blessed with such an awesome circle of close friends.
*Lord, thank you for blessing me with a wonderful son 2 years ago. He has brightened my days, and watching him grow has been such an honor and joy. I pray that he grows into a man who fears and loves the Lord above all else, and that we are diligent to teach him your ways. Save him, Lord, that he may walk in your ways and bring glory to your name all the days of his life. Amen*

A mom? Or a wife?

Awhile back, I was reading a book that asked the question "Do you feel more like a wife or a mom?". I have been thinking a lot about this question, and sadly, most days I feel more like a mom. Most of my day, it seems, is spent serving my children. This mindset is very wrong. My children were never supposed to take importance over my husband. I should value my role as a wife over my role as a mom. I have a one flesh relationship with my husband, one that will never be broken. My children are only entrusted to me for awhile. Chances are that they will grow up, get married, and have the same relationship with their spouse. I came up with a few thoughts going over this in my head.

• First, I have to serve my children. They NEED me. My husband can take care of himself, but my children, they need me to take care of them. But the thing is, I was designed to be my husbands helpmate. The main purpose of my marriage is to glorify God. Marriage is a picture of Christ and his Church. The Church submits itself to Christ, existing to serve him. In the same manner, I exist to serve Christ first, but my husband second. One way I serve Christ by serving my husband. One of the ways I serve my husband is by caring for our children while he is away at work.
• Second, I am selfish. Most days, I feel as though my work has gone unnoticed. My husband doesn't know all the work that goes into keeping things running the way they do. How would he? But when he comes home and fails to notice the work I've done, it bothers me. This is because I am selfish, and seek my own glory. Sometimes I feel as though I have been given an unfair amount of work. The job of a mom never ends, there are no breaks, no sick days, no vacation. It is a 24/7 commitment. I often seek the glory of this work that I do, wanting my husband to notice it. Don't get me wrong, he is grateful, and does tell me often that he appreciates me, but sometimes he doesn't notice details. It is times like this that I have to remind myself that the work I do is for God, and his glory alone. I love to serve my husband, but if I'm doing it because I want him to love me more or appreciate me more, I'm not doing it for the right reasons. I must serve him, first and foremost, for Gods glory. This work was given to me by God, and I should serve him with a glad heart.
• Third, somewhere I've lost the importance of my role as a wife. It has become so intermingled in my role as a mom that sometimes I fail to recognize the difference. My husband and I rarely go on date nights, and rarely take time for just us. This is a bad thing, one that we seek to fix. We have been making more of an effort to spend time reading together and talking after the kids go to bed. We are going to strive to go on a date night at least once a month. It is very important to spend this time together to enrich your marriage.

I've made some changes to my daily routine, in order to keep my priorities straight, and find more joy in my work. One thing I have done is create a cleaning schedule for myself. I know, this may sound cheesy, but it is working for me! Sometimes I just get lazy and don't want to do anything. I get into this mood where everything can wait until tomorrow. Then, all of a sudden, we are going to have people over and my house is a mess, and I have to work extra hard to get it in order again. I have found that if I do at least one part of cleaning everyday, my house should be presentable. For example, today was dusting. I went through the whole house and dusted everything. This has given my day a little more direction. It is beneficially not only because my house will be clean, but it also helps me to schedule my day better. I have a goal of spending time reading my bible and praying everyday without fail, and this helps me to be able to do that. I have also found that if I spend my time wisely, cleaning my house, and reading and praying, I have much less time for the Internet. I was given a copy of Tyranny of the Urgent by Charles E. Hummel, and found it to be really helpful! How often we leave important work for another day, and spend our time doing "urgent" things. I've got lots of work to do correcting this behavior. Of course, it isn't me doing the work, but God doing the work in me. Nonetheless, I'll have much less time to spend sharing my life with the blog world. Keep my in your prayers as God continues to sanctify me.