A mom? Or a wife?

Awhile back, I was reading a book that asked the question "Do you feel more like a wife or a mom?". I have been thinking a lot about this question, and sadly, most days I feel more like a mom. Most of my day, it seems, is spent serving my children. This mindset is very wrong. My children were never supposed to take importance over my husband. I should value my role as a wife over my role as a mom. I have a one flesh relationship with my husband, one that will never be broken. My children are only entrusted to me for awhile. Chances are that they will grow up, get married, and have the same relationship with their spouse. I came up with a few thoughts going over this in my head.

• First, I have to serve my children. They NEED me. My husband can take care of himself, but my children, they need me to take care of them. But the thing is, I was designed to be my husbands helpmate. The main purpose of my marriage is to glorify God. Marriage is a picture of Christ and his Church. The Church submits itself to Christ, existing to serve him. In the same manner, I exist to serve Christ first, but my husband second. One way I serve Christ by serving my husband. One of the ways I serve my husband is by caring for our children while he is away at work.
• Second, I am selfish. Most days, I feel as though my work has gone unnoticed. My husband doesn't know all the work that goes into keeping things running the way they do. How would he? But when he comes home and fails to notice the work I've done, it bothers me. This is because I am selfish, and seek my own glory. Sometimes I feel as though I have been given an unfair amount of work. The job of a mom never ends, there are no breaks, no sick days, no vacation. It is a 24/7 commitment. I often seek the glory of this work that I do, wanting my husband to notice it. Don't get me wrong, he is grateful, and does tell me often that he appreciates me, but sometimes he doesn't notice details. It is times like this that I have to remind myself that the work I do is for God, and his glory alone. I love to serve my husband, but if I'm doing it because I want him to love me more or appreciate me more, I'm not doing it for the right reasons. I must serve him, first and foremost, for Gods glory. This work was given to me by God, and I should serve him with a glad heart.
• Third, somewhere I've lost the importance of my role as a wife. It has become so intermingled in my role as a mom that sometimes I fail to recognize the difference. My husband and I rarely go on date nights, and rarely take time for just us. This is a bad thing, one that we seek to fix. We have been making more of an effort to spend time reading together and talking after the kids go to bed. We are going to strive to go on a date night at least once a month. It is very important to spend this time together to enrich your marriage.

I've made some changes to my daily routine, in order to keep my priorities straight, and find more joy in my work. One thing I have done is create a cleaning schedule for myself. I know, this may sound cheesy, but it is working for me! Sometimes I just get lazy and don't want to do anything. I get into this mood where everything can wait until tomorrow. Then, all of a sudden, we are going to have people over and my house is a mess, and I have to work extra hard to get it in order again. I have found that if I do at least one part of cleaning everyday, my house should be presentable. For example, today was dusting. I went through the whole house and dusted everything. This has given my day a little more direction. It is beneficially not only because my house will be clean, but it also helps me to schedule my day better. I have a goal of spending time reading my bible and praying everyday without fail, and this helps me to be able to do that. I have also found that if I spend my time wisely, cleaning my house, and reading and praying, I have much less time for the Internet. I was given a copy of Tyranny of the Urgent by Charles E. Hummel, and found it to be really helpful! How often we leave important work for another day, and spend our time doing "urgent" things. I've got lots of work to do correcting this behavior. Of course, it isn't me doing the work, but God doing the work in me. Nonetheless, I'll have much less time to spend sharing my life with the blog world. Keep my in your prayers as God continues to sanctify me.