Teething blues

For those of you who spend a lot of time around me and my family, you have probably noticed my sweet little boys wild mood swings. I have been trying to figure out if it is teething, or tantrums (probably both). He has all 4 teeth on top, and just the two middle ones on the bottom. I was expecting the other 2 bottom ones to come in next (because that's how it usually goes) and I have seen the white spots where they are coming in. Well, Sunday when I was trying to lay him down for a nap, I noticed that he isn't cutting 2 teeth, he is cutting 6!! He is cutting all 4 molars and his front teeth! One of his top molars has already half way broke through the skin. I feel so bad for him now because I didn't know how much pain he was in. So for those of you who have had to deal with my child's crazy fits, I am sorry, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully his teeth will hurry and break through, and he can go back to being my sweet, lovable son.

A long day

My day started early this morning, and is just now winding down. It was a good day though. When Mia was dropped off this morning, we ate and headed out to visit my Mawmaw. She is leading a bible study at my cousins house, and I wanted to check it out. She is going through the women of the bible. I really enjoyed the time to sit down together with women and dig into God's word. I was thankful for the ability to sit and learn from my Mawmaw, a woman who I admire. After the bible study my Aunt hooked us up with some really yummy food, and we spend the day talking, and watching the kiddos play. They always come home from there filthy. It is nice to be with family.
Then, this evening, I took Kaylee to her first tumbling class. Mia has been going and Chrissy told me I should let Kaylee check it out. The prices aren't bad, and they let you try a class for free, so I took her. She LOVED it. Kaylee is a really shy girl, but today she did so good. She went off with the class by herself, and didn't cry or anything! She followed the instructions she was given, and participated through the whole class. I was so proud of her. She will be 4 in a few weeks, I can't believe it! Sometimes I miss her being little, but nights like tonight make me feel so happy to be seeing her grow before my eyes. She can't stop talking about wanting to go back, so I am going to sign her up.
All in all, it has been a great day. It has really been a great week. I needed one of those! =)

Grace

This wont be a long post, just something I have been contemplating. I think grace is often misunderstood. Gods grace is an undeserved gift. Make no mistake, we ALL deserve the wrath of God. The bible says that the wages of sin are death. (Romans 6:23) What sin is worthy of death? Well, all of them. We will start with the 10 commandments. You shall not lie, steal, murder, commit adultery, covet. Those are just a few. When Jesus gave the sermon on the mount, he said that if you have hated your brother that you have murdered him in your heart. And if you lust after a woman (or man) you have committed adultery in your heart. (Matthew 5) You have sinned against a Holy, Just God. So one lie, even a little white lie, deserves eternal punishment (hell). Why do I explain all of that? Well, without understanding of the law and your sin, how can you understand grace? Far too often we put our sin on a sliding scale and judge others to be "worse off" than we are. The truth is, we are all equally in need of a Savior. Praise God for sending us one in his Son Jesus Christ. So what is grace? Grace is when God chooses to save a sinner, and give them a heart of flesh that is able to love and obey him. Grace is a free gift. "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9) This means you have done NOTHING to deserve grace. If you think you have done something for God to have given you this grace, it is no longer grace, it is works. We must not become boastful, or deem others a lost cause because of their sinful nature. If God can save me by grace, he can save anyone.

"I believe in the doctrine of election, because I am quite certain that, if God had not chosen me, I should never have chosen Him; and I am sure He chose me before I was born, or else He never would have chosen me afterwards; and He must have elected me for reasons unknown to me, for I never could find any reason in myself why He should have looked upon me with special love." ~Charles Spurgeon

**Well, maybe it will be a long post ;)

My Mom(s)

Today we spent the day celebrating Mothers day with my Mom and my Mother in law since tomorrow we will spend most of the day in church. I don't spend nearly enough time singing their praises, so I'm gonna take a few minutes and do so now.
My Mom is a strong woman. She can do it all. As a small child I watched her stay home and take care of her family. She took great care of us all. Every night when my Dad got home, dinner was ready and on the table. She put love into everything she did for us. Even though she was mistreated, abused, and disrespected, she poured a great deal of love out to take care of her family. Then, I watched her become a single mom, working a minimum wage job to support 3 kids. I'm not sure how she did it, physically or mentally. We were bratty children who fought constantly, and I wish we had made things easier for her. Now, she has become a Nana. Her grandchildren love her and treasure all the time they get with her. Although we don't spend enough time together, I know if I ever needed anything, no matter what time, I could call her. She would drop EVERYTHING in a heart beat to take care of her family. That's just who she is. I have learned so much about how to be a good wife, a good mom, and to take good care of my family from her. Thank you Mom, for all that you do.
My Mother in law is pretty great too. In all the years we have known each other, we have become very close. Not just as MIL/DIL, but as friends. We have conversations that last for hours every time she visits. She is always here for me if I need someone to watch the kids so I can go to the Dr (which is a HUGE relief!). She loves her grand babies so much, and they love her too. She has been by my side through some of the roughest, and some of the happiest times of my life. I count her as a blessing. It isn't often that you find such a special, loving bond between a mother in law and daughter in law. I'm glad I have that bond.
To all that you have done, and all that you do.
I love you both more than words can say.
Happy Mothers Day.

Trusting in God

I worry too much. At the first sight of something not going exactly as I had planned, I panic. This is an ongoing problem for me, but one where I have seen growth. Far too often I freak out wondering "How could this POSSIBLY work?" without giving one thought to the fact that God is in control. Everything that happens to me is for my good and Gods glory, so why do I worry? Because I am a poor, pitiful woman in desperate need of a Savior. I like when God reminds me of this, and gently leads me back to the foot of the cross. Take today for instance...last night when I suspected I might have strep throat, I paniced. "How can I go to the doctor? I have no sitter. There is NO way I can take all the kids with me. I don't have time to be sick." Not once did I stop and just trust in God. This morning comes around and I get a dr appt, at 1:30. The earliest they had. Which just so happens to fall in the middle of naptime. Here we go again "What am I gonna do?" Well, here is what I did. I gave the kids an early nap, swept and mopped the kitchen floor, did the dishes, and cleaned the rest of the house. Woke the kids up and fed them lunch, loaded everyone up and headed to the doctor. I was in and out within 30 minutes, and the doctor even sent my prescription electronically so all I had to do was pick it up. The kids were so well behaved that the doctor even complimented me on it. My throat hurts, but I've already got antibiotics in me so hopefully it will get better fast. Looking back, I don't know why I paniced. It is always like this, God ALWAYS takes care of me. Even if it wasn't how I thought it should be, it was exactly how it was supposed to be. I am very grateful for a sovereign God. Thank you God for being so patient with me and showing me so much grace that I don't deserve. Help me to trust you more. Help me to lean on you at all times and to glorify your name.

Cry me a river...

Last week I was asked if I would be interested in teaching the kids on Wednesday nights at church. At first, I was VERY scared. It is intimidating for me to be responsible for teaching my own children, much less someone else's. So I sat in class with another teacher to see if it is a good fit for me. I think it is. I can't let myself become so overwhelmed with fear that I become unable to serve my church. I am currently working through these irrational fears so that I am better able to serve in a greater capacity. I just need to put myself out there more.

Last night while the kids were outside, I was running around pushing them all on the swings. Of course, it was hot and I was out of breath, and my throat got really dry. I tried to get some water, but couldn't bring myself to drink the cloudy water that was coming from the water fountain, so I toughed it out. When I got home and got a drink, my throat was sore. I thought it was just dry from running around. I was hoping to sleep it off, maybe it was just allergies, but it is still here. It feels like it could be the start of strep throat. I really hope it isn't that, again. I have a doctors appointment at 1:30 today. Right in the middle of naptime, with no sitter. Times like this make it a little frustrating to be the SAHM and be responsible for doing everything myself. I don't get sick days. I don't get vacation. Most days, I'm okay with that. Some days, it is hard. Usually my fantastic mother in law will come and watch the kids for us, but she has no phone and I have no idea how to get in touch with her. So at 1:30, right in the middle of naptime, I will load 3 kids up and take them to the doctor with me. Sounds like fun right?!

The cute things my children do...

Today at breakfast, Kaylee sang the cutest song!
"Mommy is happy, Mommy is happy
Mommy loves Daddy, Mommy loves Daddy
Because she got married, because she got married
In her big dress"
LOL!! Isn't that funny?! That girl makes me smile! I love how she can remember the words of any song, and can recite it when you least expect it. I love how she makes her own words up too. I love how she always wants me to snuggle with her before bed, even though her Daddy just read to her, sang with her, prayed with her, and snuggled with her too. And I love how she always makes up new kisses just to keep me in the room longer. So far, we have the famous hug, famous kiss, eskimos, butterflies, forhead, bubble, ear, hair, and head kisses. Not sure what she will come up with next.

Brian (Jr) also said a new word today too! While the kids were playing/eating, I told them to eat because I wanted to go to Nana's job today to get my ac fixed. Bubba, for the first time, said "Nanaaaaa" really loud! It was so cute!! I love being able to be home with him and seeing all these things for the first time.
I love how he goes and picks up books all the time and wants me to read to him. He calls them all bibles, and I think thats cute too. It melts my heart when I rock him to sleep, and he looks up at me and starts dancing. I know what he wants, but I'm trying to teach him words lol. So I ask him "what Bubba?" and he will try to sing. I'll ask him if he wants me to sing to him and he will shake his head yes and lay back down on my chest. I think 'Victory in Jesus' is his favorite, because everytime I sing it, he starts "singing" really loud. It is either his favorite, or my voice is really that bad that he is trying to drown it out! ;)

Sometimes being a Mom and wife and trying to hold everything together in a way that brings glory to God can seem so hard. Then, in little moments like these, I reflect on the overwhelming love I have for my children, and remember how much more love God has for me. I pray that I show my children grace just as God has shown me. I pray that God will use me to show them his grace and glory. I pray that God will change their hearts into hearts that will love and obey him.

Hmm...

Recently I decided that I would start a journal. I have so many thoughts in a day, I thought it would be helpful to write some of them down and get them out. That, unfortunately, has not worked out so well. Two of my good friends recently started blogs, and it made me think that blogging would be much easier than journaling. First, because I can type much faster than I can write, and second, because I spend more time on the computer than in my bed (awake, that is) which is where my journal happens to stay. So...here goes.

You never know how much your words mean to someone. An encouraging word can go a long way between friends. I am reminded of this all too often when one of my loving friends extends words of encouragement. Although they might not know, it makes my day. Sometimes I go through life feeling unimportant (hence the name of my blog) even though I know that I am loved and cared for by many people. I often wonder what difference I make in peoples lives. My first confession is this: I have a great fear of being rejected by people. A really, really bad fear lol. I know, everyone fears rejection, big deal. lol. I have actually been thinking of this a lot though. Why do I care if I am rejected? It is okay to not be perfect. Good thing, huh? Cause I am far from perfect. I have great friends who accept and love me just as I am, with all my many flaws. At the end of the day, I take great comfort in God's promise that he will continue to sanctify me. When I have failed, I look to the cross, and remember that 'Jesus paid it all'. I pray that I continue to lean on Christ and that I do all works for the glory of his name, and not of my own.