My journey with eczema

When I was pregnant with Kaylee, I developed my first round of eczema on my face. It was small, and just really dry. I was able to use Aquaphor, and it cleared up. I didn't have any problems with it again right before I got pregnant with Brian. This time, it was worse. The doctor first thought I had a staph infection and put me on medication for that, but that only made it worse. He sent me to the dermatologist, who said it was eczema. He gave me some cream, and it went away. I cancelled my follow up visit because it was gone. Randomly, it would flare up, and I would apply the cream and it would go away, so I just dealt with it. When I was in the hospital with Brian, it got BAD. Nobody told me, I just thought my face was itching from the pain meds. I looked in the mirror and my face was all broke out. I told the nurse, and she said she thought it was just acne. It was only around my mouth though. It never went away after that. A few months ago, I ran out of the cream for my face, so I went to my regular doctor for a refill. She said that the cream was bad for my face and would thin my skin out. She gave me Elidel, but it burned my face and I didn't use it. She told me that if it didn't clear up I should go see the dermatologist again. We have a $4000 deductible on our insurance, so we would have to pay out of pocket, and it didn't seem like a necessity. So a friend gave me some cream to try that she used on her eczema, and it worked great. I wasn't using it as often, but after about 2-3 days if I didn't use it my face would break out really bad. When the tube was empty, I decided to suck it up and go to the dermatologist. That was yesterday. Apparently what I have is not just eczema, but perioral dermatitis. It is caused from the use of corticosteroids (the eczema medicine). The only way to get rid of it is antibiotics (which aren't suggested for use while pregnant) and stop using the cream. While I'm glad to have figured out the problem, now I have to deal with this painful rash. It could be up to a month.

To make matters worse, it is all around my mouth. I can't use any make up to cover it up, or it will just get worse. I've been dealing with this for a long time now. I don't mean to be vain, but it makes me really self conscious. I know that most people (including my husband) thinks that it is ridiculous, but its the way I feel. This rash is not only painful, but it covers my face with red bumps. I just want to hide in my room until it all goes away, but that wont be possible. I will be missing church tonight, because it hurts to even move my mouth. I thought I would post a picture for those of you who don't understand why a rash on my face would cause me to miss church. Would you want to walk around looking like this?