Friday, July 9, 2010

Pregnancy hormones

I am 10 weeks pregnant with our 3rd child, and I think the hormones are worse with this pregnancy than either of my other ones. I have been sick everyday for weeks now, and some days I just feel like sitting down and crying because I can't take it anymore. My house is a disaster, and that stresses me out. My daughter seems to be going through a "testing" phase, which is really wearing on me. But all in all, I wouldn't trade any of it. The sickness will bring a beautiful baby (many months from now), The messy house just means that I've taken the time my body needs to rest (and also serves as a reminder to how loving and patient my husband is with me), and the "testing" phase, well, I'll always have that with one child right? It will, Lord willing, produce a well mannered child who obeys her parents.
On to the hormones. When I was pregnant with Kaylee, I was literally a crazy lady. One minute I would be crying, one minute I would be laughing, one minute I would be yelling, and most of the time I couldn't even explain why. It was a very hard time for Brian and I. We were still newlyweds, and neither of us had experienced anything like this before. He had no patience with me, and I had no control over myself. It was a great learning experience for the both of us.
My second pregnancy, with Brian, I had a picture perfect pregnancy. No sickness, no crazy hormones, no problems.
Now this pregnancy, I think my hormones are in serious overload. I've been miserably sick, tired every minute I'm awake, and just crazy feelings. Brian has been the best husband, so supportive and loving. He has picked up my slack, and hasn't complained one bit about the state of his house. He has been very spoiled over the past couple of years, not having to worry about any of the domestic duties. He does dishes, trash, and yard work. Everything else is always done, including laundry. I'm sure it is quite foreign for him to come home to a house where toys are on every square inch of the floor, dinner is half way being cooked between breaks of sitting down so that I can keep my stomach from trying to jump out of my throat, and laundry that is piled up around my ears! But he has jumped right in, picking up, finishing dinner, helping with laundry. He is truly amazing. While I am so thankful for him, it makes me kind of sad. It makes me sad that I haven't been able to take care of him or our home as I should. It makes me feel like I have failed him as a wife. Why do I feel like this? BECAUSE PREGNANCY HORMONES MAKE YOU CRAZY!! Seriously! I'm glad that this time I am able to recognize what is crazy hormones, and what is real. The other night, I felt "alone" in this pregnancy. That is absolutely the most absurd thing I could ever think! Brian has been the perfect husband, being so supportive of me. I can't believe that a thought like that would ever enter my mind. Of course, I didn't say anything to Brian, because I know I'm just crazy. ;)
I just wanted to put all this out there so maybe, if you are going crazy with hormones like me, you won't feel so alone. Hopefully, you will be able to recognize the rational feelings from the irrational hormonal feelings, like I now can.

2 comments:

  1. hormones control your life they will make you happy one day and so sad the next i still have days like that and i cannot have any more babies i,m happy for a while then i just start crying for no apperant reasons.i hope you will soon be better just remember it is for a beautiful reason. the life you are carying inside of you.a precious gift from god

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  2. Ah sweetie! Please call me if you ever need anything. I will gladly drop everything and come help you with laundry or lunch or whatever. I remember those days very well. The sickness was really bad with my first two, and the hormones were bad with Bethany. I was even angry with my clothes!! I hated them! And I hated to wear them because they were so hot and constricting and well,......just there! LOL! You and your family area daily in my prayers!

    -Wanda

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