Thursday, November 17, 2011
Sometimes it just hits you
As I was sorting through my junk emails, I came across one from Gerber that says "Your 11 month old..." and got slightly sad. It hit me that I would have a baby almost a year old by now! In August of last year, I had a miscarriage. I would have been due in January. While the loss still saddens me, I'm thankful for the small amount of time I was given to carry that child. EVERY child is a gift, and that one was no exception. I trust God's goodness and faithfulness, it was always in his hands. Today, I'll choose to be thankful for the gift of 15 weeks of pregnancy with that child. I'll be thankful for the 3 other children he has blessed me with, and any future children he may give to us. I'll be thankful for the ability to be at home, raising and teaching and loving on my kids. I'll be thankful for the ability to go to God in prayer, knowing he hears me and he cares for me. I'll be thankful for the reminder of how blessed I am, and the reminder that many moms around the world are hurting right now. Somewhere around the world right now, a mother has lost a child. If you're that mother, know that I've just said a prayer for you.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
I AM alive!
Wow, it has been about 2 months since I even visited this blog! Sad, I know. Truth is, it just hasn't been a priority. I just thought I would stop by and update for a minute.
Josiah is 2 months old now. 11 weeks to be exact. He is such a sweet baby. He hardly ever fusses, sleeps through all the chaos, and is always very generous with his smiles. He is truly a joy to me. I am still nursing, and it is going great. My only problem is that he doesn't want to take a bottle. He has taken a half of a bottle for my mom once, but he wont even touch it for Brian. This makes things difficult at times. It has been a struggle to adjust to having 3 kids. I have heard people say that if you can have 2, adding a 3rd isn't that big of a deal. I think they lied. ;) It could be the fact that I am homeschooling Kaylee for the first "official" year, and taking care of a newborn. The demands of homeschooling, child rearing, housekeeping and being a wife keep me busy pretty much all day. I'm still learning to be content, and not complain about my "job". I sometimes miss having "me" time, doing the things that I want to do. Truly, I'm selfish. God is doing a great deal of work on me in this area. I've left Josiah only 3 times, for a very short amount of time. I've worried the whole time being away because I fear he will need me, and I wont be there. I am working hard on getting everything started for Christmas. I plan on making some gifts, so I'll have to be diligent with my time in order to get anything done. I've already started buying some presents, so hopefully December wont be so hard. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I spend most days going and going and going, then when I finally sit down and rest, I realize it is too late to call anyone and I've missed yet another day. I am going to make a great effort to change this...even if I have to write myself a note.
Kaylee is doing awesome in school. We've had problems, and spent the first several weeks fighting over it nearly every single day. It was difficult, but I think we're both adjusting. This past week she did good every day except one, and that was more of my fault because we missed nap time. She is reading very well, and learning to be more independent in her work. Today she helped me cook dinner. We had steak fingers, and she was responsible for breading them. She was a pro!!
Brian is a typical 2 yr old boy. I can't believe he will be 3 soon! He says most words with a d, even if they don't start with a d. For example, he says dumbo instead of gumbo, dood instead of food, dum instead of gum, dork instead of fork. It is really cute. His favorite food is mexinan dood. ;) He can throw some crazy fits, but he is such a sweetheart to me. I think he may have found his future wife. One of my best friends little girl, Selah, has stolen his heart. ;) Anytime she is around he gets all excited, and gives her tons of hugs and kisses, and follows her around trying to get her attention. He talks about her when she isn't around. The other day in the bathtub he told me that he loves her kisses. Yes, I think it is love. ;)
Okay, back to laundry I go. I'll try to update before my kids are grown. =)
Josiah is 2 months old now. 11 weeks to be exact. He is such a sweet baby. He hardly ever fusses, sleeps through all the chaos, and is always very generous with his smiles. He is truly a joy to me. I am still nursing, and it is going great. My only problem is that he doesn't want to take a bottle. He has taken a half of a bottle for my mom once, but he wont even touch it for Brian. This makes things difficult at times. It has been a struggle to adjust to having 3 kids. I have heard people say that if you can have 2, adding a 3rd isn't that big of a deal. I think they lied. ;) It could be the fact that I am homeschooling Kaylee for the first "official" year, and taking care of a newborn. The demands of homeschooling, child rearing, housekeeping and being a wife keep me busy pretty much all day. I'm still learning to be content, and not complain about my "job". I sometimes miss having "me" time, doing the things that I want to do. Truly, I'm selfish. God is doing a great deal of work on me in this area. I've left Josiah only 3 times, for a very short amount of time. I've worried the whole time being away because I fear he will need me, and I wont be there. I am working hard on getting everything started for Christmas. I plan on making some gifts, so I'll have to be diligent with my time in order to get anything done. I've already started buying some presents, so hopefully December wont be so hard. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I spend most days going and going and going, then when I finally sit down and rest, I realize it is too late to call anyone and I've missed yet another day. I am going to make a great effort to change this...even if I have to write myself a note.
Kaylee is doing awesome in school. We've had problems, and spent the first several weeks fighting over it nearly every single day. It was difficult, but I think we're both adjusting. This past week she did good every day except one, and that was more of my fault because we missed nap time. She is reading very well, and learning to be more independent in her work. Today she helped me cook dinner. We had steak fingers, and she was responsible for breading them. She was a pro!!
Brian is a typical 2 yr old boy. I can't believe he will be 3 soon! He says most words with a d, even if they don't start with a d. For example, he says dumbo instead of gumbo, dood instead of food, dum instead of gum, dork instead of fork. It is really cute. His favorite food is mexinan dood. ;) He can throw some crazy fits, but he is such a sweetheart to me. I think he may have found his future wife. One of my best friends little girl, Selah, has stolen his heart. ;) Anytime she is around he gets all excited, and gives her tons of hugs and kisses, and follows her around trying to get her attention. He talks about her when she isn't around. The other day in the bathtub he told me that he loves her kisses. Yes, I think it is love. ;)
Okay, back to laundry I go. I'll try to update before my kids are grown. =)
 |
| I had every intention of sending out birth announcements. But it was at the bottom of my extra long to do list, and didn't seem to make the cut. My sweet friend Mindy took some pictures of our little family, and I will share them on another blog post. But for now, here is announcing Josiah Allen Carney. He was born August 8, 2011 at 9:31 am. He weighed 7 lbs, 5 oz. |
Monday, August 22, 2011
This is reality
Today Josiah is 2 weeks old! =) Today Kaylee started first grade. Today Brian went back to work. Today has been...stressful!!
This isn't going to be a post completely full of complaining...but it may seem like it. ;) My morning was so bad that I came home and had to sit down and smile because I know that THIS is reality. Believe it or not, God has a purpose in my bad morning, and I made it out alive. =)
So first things first, I'm up every 2-3 hours feeding a newborn. Last night was a good night, and I got to sleep for 2 1/2 hours twice! Everybody was awake by 7 am, which worked out because I had to take Josiah to the doctor. Or so I thought. We get up and eat, and I get everyone ready with about 30 minutes to spare, so we started on school. I left the house thinking "Oh yeah, I got this, it isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be". Then we got to the Dr office and after signing in I realize that my appointment isn't this Monday, but NEXT Monday! Great, I've made a trip across town for nothing. It is NOT easy loading and unloading 3 kids, especially when one of them is a newborn. I didn't want to waste the trip, so I decided to go ahead and do Josiah's pku at the next plaza over. So we get all the paperwork done for that and I'm waiting to be called back when Kaylee starts pushing on her brother and fighting over the toy tables in the waiting area. Sometimes I wonder if she didn't successfully make it out of the terrible twos. ;) So she is in time out beside me and I hear Josiah make a poopy diaper. I thought, "No big deal, I'll just change him when they call me back". They called me back a few minutes later, and as I was taking him out of the car seat I realize that the poop is running down his leg, and is now all over my shirt!! I go to grab the wipes out of the diaper bag only to realize that someone had taken them out. So poop is everywhere and I have no wipes. I wrap a burp cloth around him so she can go ahead and stick his heel so I can get him cleaned up. I tell Kaylee and Bubba to sit down in the chair so they aren't in the way, and of course that means push each other and fight like crazy. It took forever for her to finish the pku (or so it seemed, probably because I was stressed). I wet some paper towels, and strip him down and clean him up. I asked Kaylee to hand me the bags for dirty diapers and somehow when she was putting it back it opened and the roll of bags went across the floor, so I had to roll it back up to put it back in the bag. Meanwhile, the lady is standing outside the room waiting to call the next person. I get everything cleaned up and ready to go and head to the car. Kaylee helped me by buckling Bubba up, but she accidentally pulled the seat belt too far and it locked. As I'm driving off Bubba starts freaking out about it. I told him that I wasn't going to pull over, so he would just have to wait a few minutes until we were home. Josiah decided he was hungry, so he screamed most of the car ride home too. As I'm driving home feeling like my head is going to explode with 2 screaming kids in the back, I stop and realize, THIS is real life. These moments matter. Having multiple kids is not always easy, and it is not always pretty. Somehow, you survive though, and ultimately enjoy it. So we get home and I go to take Josiah out of the car seat only to realize that he had pooped all in his car seat too! So I had to change him and clean him up again, pretreat all of the clothes that had poop on it, change my own clothes and clean up, and start back school with Kaylee. Then, Bubba pooped in his underwear. He wasn't feeling well yesterday, and had a bit of diarrhea, so today it wasn't a lot better. I think I've reached my max on cleaning up poop today. But, we got almost through all of Kaylee's work for today. She enjoyed it, and I did too! Lord willing, tomorrow will be less stressful. If not, I know Gods grace is sufficient, and He will get me through. When we attended the homeschooling conference last month we listened to a speaker named Todd Wilson. One thing he pointed out was that Jesus said in Matthew 11:30 "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light". We need not stress out or think things are impossible. That has really stuck with me. This morning may have been rough, but I'm thankful still.
On to happier news, I'll update on Josiah. We took him on Friday the 12th to the doctor and he weighed 7 lbs 10 oz. He had gained 10 oz since we left the hospital on Tuesday evening, which is a good thing. He had a little bit of jaundice, but she said as long as he was feeding and pooping well, it didn't need to be treated. He has been doing great! The first few nights he slept 4-5 hours at a time. That quickly wore off and he has been waking me up every 2 hours pretty consistently. After feeding and changing him, that only leaves about an hour and a half before he is awake again. Somehow I still have energy to get through the day...that is obviously a God thing! He doesn't cry as soon as he is hungry, he will root around for awhile, whimper a bit, and give you plenty of warning before he lets out a full on cry. He is already a Momma's boy. He almost never poops in a wet diaper. He waits until we change it and poops almost immediately after we get a clean one on. He sleeps through the chaos and noise of our house, I guess he is used to it now. ;) He is a sweet, sweet baby and I am so very thankful for him!
This isn't going to be a post completely full of complaining...but it may seem like it. ;) My morning was so bad that I came home and had to sit down and smile because I know that THIS is reality. Believe it or not, God has a purpose in my bad morning, and I made it out alive. =)
So first things first, I'm up every 2-3 hours feeding a newborn. Last night was a good night, and I got to sleep for 2 1/2 hours twice! Everybody was awake by 7 am, which worked out because I had to take Josiah to the doctor. Or so I thought. We get up and eat, and I get everyone ready with about 30 minutes to spare, so we started on school. I left the house thinking "Oh yeah, I got this, it isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be". Then we got to the Dr office and after signing in I realize that my appointment isn't this Monday, but NEXT Monday! Great, I've made a trip across town for nothing. It is NOT easy loading and unloading 3 kids, especially when one of them is a newborn. I didn't want to waste the trip, so I decided to go ahead and do Josiah's pku at the next plaza over. So we get all the paperwork done for that and I'm waiting to be called back when Kaylee starts pushing on her brother and fighting over the toy tables in the waiting area. Sometimes I wonder if she didn't successfully make it out of the terrible twos. ;) So she is in time out beside me and I hear Josiah make a poopy diaper. I thought, "No big deal, I'll just change him when they call me back". They called me back a few minutes later, and as I was taking him out of the car seat I realize that the poop is running down his leg, and is now all over my shirt!! I go to grab the wipes out of the diaper bag only to realize that someone had taken them out. So poop is everywhere and I have no wipes. I wrap a burp cloth around him so she can go ahead and stick his heel so I can get him cleaned up. I tell Kaylee and Bubba to sit down in the chair so they aren't in the way, and of course that means push each other and fight like crazy. It took forever for her to finish the pku (or so it seemed, probably because I was stressed). I wet some paper towels, and strip him down and clean him up. I asked Kaylee to hand me the bags for dirty diapers and somehow when she was putting it back it opened and the roll of bags went across the floor, so I had to roll it back up to put it back in the bag. Meanwhile, the lady is standing outside the room waiting to call the next person. I get everything cleaned up and ready to go and head to the car. Kaylee helped me by buckling Bubba up, but she accidentally pulled the seat belt too far and it locked. As I'm driving off Bubba starts freaking out about it. I told him that I wasn't going to pull over, so he would just have to wait a few minutes until we were home. Josiah decided he was hungry, so he screamed most of the car ride home too. As I'm driving home feeling like my head is going to explode with 2 screaming kids in the back, I stop and realize, THIS is real life. These moments matter. Having multiple kids is not always easy, and it is not always pretty. Somehow, you survive though, and ultimately enjoy it. So we get home and I go to take Josiah out of the car seat only to realize that he had pooped all in his car seat too! So I had to change him and clean him up again, pretreat all of the clothes that had poop on it, change my own clothes and clean up, and start back school with Kaylee. Then, Bubba pooped in his underwear. He wasn't feeling well yesterday, and had a bit of diarrhea, so today it wasn't a lot better. I think I've reached my max on cleaning up poop today. But, we got almost through all of Kaylee's work for today. She enjoyed it, and I did too! Lord willing, tomorrow will be less stressful. If not, I know Gods grace is sufficient, and He will get me through. When we attended the homeschooling conference last month we listened to a speaker named Todd Wilson. One thing he pointed out was that Jesus said in Matthew 11:30 "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light". We need not stress out or think things are impossible. That has really stuck with me. This morning may have been rough, but I'm thankful still.
On to happier news, I'll update on Josiah. We took him on Friday the 12th to the doctor and he weighed 7 lbs 10 oz. He had gained 10 oz since we left the hospital on Tuesday evening, which is a good thing. He had a little bit of jaundice, but she said as long as he was feeding and pooping well, it didn't need to be treated. He has been doing great! The first few nights he slept 4-5 hours at a time. That quickly wore off and he has been waking me up every 2 hours pretty consistently. After feeding and changing him, that only leaves about an hour and a half before he is awake again. Somehow I still have energy to get through the day...that is obviously a God thing! He doesn't cry as soon as he is hungry, he will root around for awhile, whimper a bit, and give you plenty of warning before he lets out a full on cry. He is already a Momma's boy. He almost never poops in a wet diaper. He waits until we change it and poops almost immediately after we get a clean one on. He sleeps through the chaos and noise of our house, I guess he is used to it now. ;) He is a sweet, sweet baby and I am so very thankful for him!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
C-section or Natural?
A few people have asked me which I would prefer, a c-section or natural birth. Of course, I would prefer natural birth. Don't get me wrong, it has it's own pain to recover from, but I would still take a natural delivery over a c-section any day. With my first c-section, I was in a great deal of pain afterward and took a good 6 weeks to recover. I was so drugged up when Kaylee was born that I can hardly recall seeing her for the first time. I don't even think I was awake in our first "family photo". They whisked her away and 4 hours later I could see her again. I wanted to nurse her but I couldn't even move because of the pain. Recovery was slow and awful.
With my second c-section, which was a planned c-section, I had virtually no pain afterward. In fact, I came home from the hospital on a Saturday and did a load of laundry. I remember being disappointed that Brian wouldn't let me go to church that Sunday. The birth, however, was probably one of the scariest times of my life. The spinal didn't take, and I could feel the doctor start cutting me open. I hadn't found out the sex of the baby before hand because I wanted to have some sort of special moment during his birth. Little did I know they would have to put me to sleep, and again, I would be the last to see my baby, and the last to know the sex. I had to view pictures of him before I ever met him because, again, they took him for 4 hours before I could even see him. I was pretty much heart broken.
This time I was the first hold my baby. I was the first one to feed him. Brian and I got to spend precious moments with our baby before the nurses took him away and cleaned him up, and even before family came in. The experience was indescribable. I am in pure awe of God's handiwork. While I'm holding my baby I think about how he, just a little over a week ago, was curled up inside of my tiny abdomen. How God has designed a woman's body to carry a child, and then give birth, it is a beautiful experience. Only a Perfect, Holy God could create something so beautiful.
I am thankful for all of my babies, and their births. I am thankful for my c-sections because they have made me appreciate the beauty of natural birth that much more. I am thankful for doctors and technology that when things go wrong, they no longer have to choose the mother or child's life, but through a c-section can most times save both. But I'm thankful as well for the beauty of giving birth without a scalpel. Given the opportunity, I'd gladly choose a natural birth any day.
With my second c-section, which was a planned c-section, I had virtually no pain afterward. In fact, I came home from the hospital on a Saturday and did a load of laundry. I remember being disappointed that Brian wouldn't let me go to church that Sunday. The birth, however, was probably one of the scariest times of my life. The spinal didn't take, and I could feel the doctor start cutting me open. I hadn't found out the sex of the baby before hand because I wanted to have some sort of special moment during his birth. Little did I know they would have to put me to sleep, and again, I would be the last to see my baby, and the last to know the sex. I had to view pictures of him before I ever met him because, again, they took him for 4 hours before I could even see him. I was pretty much heart broken.
This time I was the first hold my baby. I was the first one to feed him. Brian and I got to spend precious moments with our baby before the nurses took him away and cleaned him up, and even before family came in. The experience was indescribable. I am in pure awe of God's handiwork. While I'm holding my baby I think about how he, just a little over a week ago, was curled up inside of my tiny abdomen. How God has designed a woman's body to carry a child, and then give birth, it is a beautiful experience. Only a Perfect, Holy God could create something so beautiful.
I am thankful for all of my babies, and their births. I am thankful for my c-sections because they have made me appreciate the beauty of natural birth that much more. I am thankful for doctors and technology that when things go wrong, they no longer have to choose the mother or child's life, but through a c-section can most times save both. But I'm thankful as well for the beauty of giving birth without a scalpel. Given the opportunity, I'd gladly choose a natural birth any day.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
This is the story of the birth of my son, sparing some of the details that you just don't need to know. ;) Be warned, however, that it IS a birth story, so proceed with caution.
I've had 2 c-sections with my other children. One in 2006, and one in 2008. My first c-section was the result of a doctor who was impatient to allow my body to do what it was designed to do. I've felt for 5 years now that his practices were wrong, and had I labored naturally, I would have progressed just fine. However, as part of inducing me, he immediately broke my water, putting us all on a time limit to give birth. My second c-section was scheduled because my due date had arrived, and baby was transverse and not dropping.
This time around I really wanted to try a vbac again. It isn't common that one would be able to do this, so I was pretty excited to find a doctor who would be willing to allow me to try. He told me that my bone structure was too small, and he didn't think I would go into labor, nor would I progress. But, if I did go into labor, we could try. I spent the last month of my pregnancy doing nearly everything I could to help this baby come out. I had started to dialate a tiny bit at around 37 weeks, and had braxton hicks like crazy on a daily basis. As I went for my last couple of check ups, I became increasingly frustrated that NOTHING had changed. I had a c-section scheduled for August 9th at 7:30 am if I didn't go into labor by then. I even tried to get him to strip my membranes, but I wasn't progressed enough. I left the doctors office on Friday thinking I'd never get to experience natural labor. Although I was sad, I had accepted it, and decided to enjoy my last few days of pregnancy without trying to make him come out. Another c-section was my fate, and I had accepted it. We had a busy weekend, and I did nothing extra that I had been doing. No extra walking, no natural herbs, no disgusting tea. ;) Sunday night we went to bed around 10. I woke up at midnight thinking I had just peed on myself a little. It wasn't a lot, so I thought the baby just kicked my bladder or something. I went potty and felt another little gush...but still didn't know what to think. I waited awhile to make sure I had an empty bladder, and returned to bed. As soon as I got to the bed, another little gush. I woke Brian up and told him I thought my water was breaking. I got up and put on a pad, and figured I'd go back to sleep until I started having contractions. Of course, as soon as we laid back down, they started. I thought, "Maybe I should time these" so I got my pen and paper. Of course, I remembered a few things I needed to pack up before we left for the hospital, so I got sidetracked on timing contractions and started rounding up last minute things. Then, I thought, "Maybe I need to go in now, since my water broke. Maybe I should call the hospital and see what they say". So I did, and they told me to come in. I'm in shock as I realize that I am going to have a baby, one way or another. We round everything up, call my Mom, and drop the kids off at her house. We arrive at the hospital and walk up to the main entrance, only to realize that they lock the doors after hours and we would now need to walk through the emergency room. When we got in there, they insisted on putting me in a wheelchair to get to labor and delivery. I wasn't contracting much at all, so I tried to avoid it, but the lady said she didn't want the baby "sliding out" as I walked. So I get in and the nurse in triage says "I'm going to check and see if your water did actually break. Do you think maybe you just peed on yourself?" I informed her that there was absolutely no doubt it was my water breaking because I was soaked. She went to check me and quickly realized that my water indeed did break. She asked if I was having a repeat c-section and I told her no, we were trying vbac. She asked who my doctor was and when I told her, she was shocked. She said he almost never does vbacs. When she found out that I had 2 previous c-sections, she was even more shocked. She said no doctor around her would even attempt that. I knew my rights, I knew the risks, and my doctor had already agreed, so I was going for a vbac. She was very supportive and helpful, even though my doctor wasn't very happy with me. She checked me and I was only dialated at 1. She wanted to give me a fighting chance at vbac, so she stretched my cervix to 2 and 1/2, bringing on the contractions strong and hard. That was pretty painful. They said they wanted me to get an epidural since the risk of uterine rupture was higher, so that they would be ready to wheel me into emergency c-section if need be. I am SO thankful for that, because the contractions were killer. I got the epidural around 5 am, and was dialated 3 1/2 then. I was worried that the epidural would stall my labor, and ruin my chance for a vbac, but I knew that it was a life threatening situation if my uterus ruptured, and it was best to be prepared for emergency c-section. The doctor came in at 7, clearly agitated, thinking I hadn't progressed any. He checked me and I was between 5 and 6. My daytime nurse came in and introduced herself and asked if she could pray with me. That was so special to me, more than words could express. God's hands were obviously all over this process, and this woman was just another reassurance of that. She got her prayer partner, who would end up being my nurse for the majority of my stay, and they prayed for me. I was quite humbled by that. She turned me on my side, set pillows up between my legs and behind my back, and left. 30 minutes later she came back and checked me and I was at 9 1/2. I have probably never been more excited in my whole life. Finally, this thing looked possible!! I might ACTUALLY get to have a vaginal delivery like I had been wanting for 5 years! She told me that she didn't want me pushing much, so we were going to let the contractions push the baby down until she could see hair. I was nervous, Brian was petrified, but we were both so excited. I labored for another hour and a half. It wasn't too bad because I had an epidural, but the contractions started getting worse and worse as he was moving down. Dr came in and checked me at 9, not thinking I was progressed very far, only to realize the head was visible! The nurse said she wanted me to wait about 15 more minutes before I started pushing. She had me do a few practice pushes, and said I was ready. So at 9:15 she did a few pushes with me, trying to stretch me to avoid an episiotomy. I felt like my eyeballs were going to pop out I was pushing so hard. She told me to stop pushing till the Dr came in, and a few minutes later we started again. I pushed a few more times, Dr had to cut me, and Josiah was here!! I can't describe the feeling I felt when they put him on my chest, but I don't think I could have possibly smiled any bigger. The doctor stitched me up, and we were left to spend time with our little man. I left a few things out, and don't want to go back and edit, so I'm just going to add them here.
While putting in the iv, the nurse messed up on the first one. She didn't want it to blow out, so she was holding that one while trying to insert another one. I had a contraction as she was trying to tape the new one, and it apparently caused the first iv to blow out and squirt blood everywhere. Brian was not happy with that, he was annoyed that they didn't do it right, and the sight of the blood made him have to go sit down.
I got to feel Josiah's head as it was coming out. Brian thought this was totally gross, but I thought it was pretty amazing.
The nurse told me signs of uterine rupture to watch out for, mainly unexplained pain and bleeding. As Brian would help me flip over, he noticed a little blood on the towel. I couldn't see it to know if it was normal, so he called the nurse. She said it was normal. About 30 minutes later when I flipped again, he got all worried again, but decided not to call the nurse this time. He was SO concerned the whole time, it was very sweet to watch.
As I was pushing, I remember looking at Brian and thinking "Could you please not look so disgusted as I'm giving birth to our child!" lol! I'm not sure if I said it out loud or not, but I definitely thought it.
It was an amazing experience! I may update with more details as I remember, but that is all for now.
I've had 2 c-sections with my other children. One in 2006, and one in 2008. My first c-section was the result of a doctor who was impatient to allow my body to do what it was designed to do. I've felt for 5 years now that his practices were wrong, and had I labored naturally, I would have progressed just fine. However, as part of inducing me, he immediately broke my water, putting us all on a time limit to give birth. My second c-section was scheduled because my due date had arrived, and baby was transverse and not dropping.
This time around I really wanted to try a vbac again. It isn't common that one would be able to do this, so I was pretty excited to find a doctor who would be willing to allow me to try. He told me that my bone structure was too small, and he didn't think I would go into labor, nor would I progress. But, if I did go into labor, we could try. I spent the last month of my pregnancy doing nearly everything I could to help this baby come out. I had started to dialate a tiny bit at around 37 weeks, and had braxton hicks like crazy on a daily basis. As I went for my last couple of check ups, I became increasingly frustrated that NOTHING had changed. I had a c-section scheduled for August 9th at 7:30 am if I didn't go into labor by then. I even tried to get him to strip my membranes, but I wasn't progressed enough. I left the doctors office on Friday thinking I'd never get to experience natural labor. Although I was sad, I had accepted it, and decided to enjoy my last few days of pregnancy without trying to make him come out. Another c-section was my fate, and I had accepted it. We had a busy weekend, and I did nothing extra that I had been doing. No extra walking, no natural herbs, no disgusting tea. ;) Sunday night we went to bed around 10. I woke up at midnight thinking I had just peed on myself a little. It wasn't a lot, so I thought the baby just kicked my bladder or something. I went potty and felt another little gush...but still didn't know what to think. I waited awhile to make sure I had an empty bladder, and returned to bed. As soon as I got to the bed, another little gush. I woke Brian up and told him I thought my water was breaking. I got up and put on a pad, and figured I'd go back to sleep until I started having contractions. Of course, as soon as we laid back down, they started. I thought, "Maybe I should time these" so I got my pen and paper. Of course, I remembered a few things I needed to pack up before we left for the hospital, so I got sidetracked on timing contractions and started rounding up last minute things. Then, I thought, "Maybe I need to go in now, since my water broke. Maybe I should call the hospital and see what they say". So I did, and they told me to come in. I'm in shock as I realize that I am going to have a baby, one way or another. We round everything up, call my Mom, and drop the kids off at her house. We arrive at the hospital and walk up to the main entrance, only to realize that they lock the doors after hours and we would now need to walk through the emergency room. When we got in there, they insisted on putting me in a wheelchair to get to labor and delivery. I wasn't contracting much at all, so I tried to avoid it, but the lady said she didn't want the baby "sliding out" as I walked. So I get in and the nurse in triage says "I'm going to check and see if your water did actually break. Do you think maybe you just peed on yourself?" I informed her that there was absolutely no doubt it was my water breaking because I was soaked. She went to check me and quickly realized that my water indeed did break. She asked if I was having a repeat c-section and I told her no, we were trying vbac. She asked who my doctor was and when I told her, she was shocked. She said he almost never does vbacs. When she found out that I had 2 previous c-sections, she was even more shocked. She said no doctor around her would even attempt that. I knew my rights, I knew the risks, and my doctor had already agreed, so I was going for a vbac. She was very supportive and helpful, even though my doctor wasn't very happy with me. She checked me and I was only dialated at 1. She wanted to give me a fighting chance at vbac, so she stretched my cervix to 2 and 1/2, bringing on the contractions strong and hard. That was pretty painful. They said they wanted me to get an epidural since the risk of uterine rupture was higher, so that they would be ready to wheel me into emergency c-section if need be. I am SO thankful for that, because the contractions were killer. I got the epidural around 5 am, and was dialated 3 1/2 then. I was worried that the epidural would stall my labor, and ruin my chance for a vbac, but I knew that it was a life threatening situation if my uterus ruptured, and it was best to be prepared for emergency c-section. The doctor came in at 7, clearly agitated, thinking I hadn't progressed any. He checked me and I was between 5 and 6. My daytime nurse came in and introduced herself and asked if she could pray with me. That was so special to me, more than words could express. God's hands were obviously all over this process, and this woman was just another reassurance of that. She got her prayer partner, who would end up being my nurse for the majority of my stay, and they prayed for me. I was quite humbled by that. She turned me on my side, set pillows up between my legs and behind my back, and left. 30 minutes later she came back and checked me and I was at 9 1/2. I have probably never been more excited in my whole life. Finally, this thing looked possible!! I might ACTUALLY get to have a vaginal delivery like I had been wanting for 5 years! She told me that she didn't want me pushing much, so we were going to let the contractions push the baby down until she could see hair. I was nervous, Brian was petrified, but we were both so excited. I labored for another hour and a half. It wasn't too bad because I had an epidural, but the contractions started getting worse and worse as he was moving down. Dr came in and checked me at 9, not thinking I was progressed very far, only to realize the head was visible! The nurse said she wanted me to wait about 15 more minutes before I started pushing. She had me do a few practice pushes, and said I was ready. So at 9:15 she did a few pushes with me, trying to stretch me to avoid an episiotomy. I felt like my eyeballs were going to pop out I was pushing so hard. She told me to stop pushing till the Dr came in, and a few minutes later we started again. I pushed a few more times, Dr had to cut me, and Josiah was here!! I can't describe the feeling I felt when they put him on my chest, but I don't think I could have possibly smiled any bigger. The doctor stitched me up, and we were left to spend time with our little man. I left a few things out, and don't want to go back and edit, so I'm just going to add them here.
While putting in the iv, the nurse messed up on the first one. She didn't want it to blow out, so she was holding that one while trying to insert another one. I had a contraction as she was trying to tape the new one, and it apparently caused the first iv to blow out and squirt blood everywhere. Brian was not happy with that, he was annoyed that they didn't do it right, and the sight of the blood made him have to go sit down.
I got to feel Josiah's head as it was coming out. Brian thought this was totally gross, but I thought it was pretty amazing.
The nurse told me signs of uterine rupture to watch out for, mainly unexplained pain and bleeding. As Brian would help me flip over, he noticed a little blood on the towel. I couldn't see it to know if it was normal, so he called the nurse. She said it was normal. About 30 minutes later when I flipped again, he got all worried again, but decided not to call the nurse this time. He was SO concerned the whole time, it was very sweet to watch.
As I was pushing, I remember looking at Brian and thinking "Could you please not look so disgusted as I'm giving birth to our child!" lol! I'm not sure if I said it out loud or not, but I definitely thought it.
It was an amazing experience! I may update with more details as I remember, but that is all for now.
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| Just got the news that he will soon arrive! |
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| I was beyond happy to see him! |
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| Daddy holding him for the first time |
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| So in love! |
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Making life easier
I almost never blog anymore. I never feel like I have time, and when I do have time, I don't want to. Of course, that will only get worse considering I'll have a newborn in 10 days. Anyways, lately I've been very thankful for a few household "tools" that seem to make my life much easier. These won't be listed in order of favorites, because I'm not sure I could pick a favorite. So here goes:
This is a laundry sorter with a hanging rack that I got for my birthday from my Mom. I don't like to put all of my clothes in the dryer, I like to air dry most of them. This is perfect for that. I can get up and start a load of laundry, put them on the hangers wet, then come back later after they dry and take them to the appropriate closet. Meanwhile, I can separate the remaining laundry in the bottom bags (which are very spacious) and pretty much keep up with laundry. This works much better than my previous way of doing laundry, which was all in one day each week. It also saves money on electricity not using the dryer as often!
This is a bissell steam and sweep mop. I got this for Christmas from my wonderful husband. Yes, I realize this is an odd gift, but it is seriously one of my favorites! I used to spend so much time sweeping and mopping, and even having to get on my hands and knees to scrub up some foreign substance that one of my children left behind to dry and stick to the floor. I have a bad back, and I am pregnant, so mopping was becoming a dreaded chore. This is lightweight, and with the push of a button, cleans EVERYTHING! No more scrubbing...ever! I usually sweep before hand, because I have a messy family, but I don't have to do it too carefully because the mop also vacuums up the extra dirt as you go. Best part of all is that is sanitizes the floors, so I feel like my house is a tad bit cleaner.
My next favorite "tool" is kind of a new one for me. My good friend Vivian gave me some microfiber towels awhile back. At first, I'll admit, I had no idea what I would really use them for, I had never used microfiber towels before. I can be a bit compulsive when it comes to cleaning, and I tend to make everything harder than it has to be. Dusting is one of those chores I "over-do". I have a LOT of woodwork around my house, including built in bookshelves that I would always take every frame off of, spray down with furniture polish, then dust each frame and put it back. I would do this once a week, and it always takes forever and gives me a huge headache. I decided to dust with these one day, and I was AMAZED! They collect the dust without me needing furniture polish, and I finish in less than half the time. I still take everything down and polish it about once a month, but it isn't necessary to do as often as I had been.
This, I believe, is a must have if you've got small, messy children and/or wood floors. This is a swiffer sweeper vac. It is rechargeable, I just plug it in after each use, so it is always ready to go. It is great at sucking up crumbs leftover under the table from mealtimes, and collecting dust that accumulates under furniture when you have wood floors. It doesn't cost too much, and it makes clean up so much easier. Also, my 5 year old LOVES to use it. She asks me all the time if she can sweep the floor with it. Added bonus? I think so. ;)
This is also a new favorite for me, introduced by Vivian. I've been making my own laundry soap for awhile (read about it here.) and it has been working so well! I love the detergent, but the only thing I miss sometimes is the wonderful scent you get from the laundry soap you buy at the store. Well, problem solved! Just add a small amount of these little beads to the wash, and everything smells so good! I've used it on several loads of clothes now, and haven't found any problems with it. It says it is safe for all fabrics. I washed my daughters bedding last night and was pleasantly surprised to see that it had freshened her entire room!
This is a bissell steam and sweep mop. I got this for Christmas from my wonderful husband. Yes, I realize this is an odd gift, but it is seriously one of my favorites! I used to spend so much time sweeping and mopping, and even having to get on my hands and knees to scrub up some foreign substance that one of my children left behind to dry and stick to the floor. I have a bad back, and I am pregnant, so mopping was becoming a dreaded chore. This is lightweight, and with the push of a button, cleans EVERYTHING! No more scrubbing...ever! I usually sweep before hand, because I have a messy family, but I don't have to do it too carefully because the mop also vacuums up the extra dirt as you go. Best part of all is that is sanitizes the floors, so I feel like my house is a tad bit cleaner.My next favorite "tool" is kind of a new one for me. My good friend Vivian gave me some microfiber towels awhile back. At first, I'll admit, I had no idea what I would really use them for, I had never used microfiber towels before. I can be a bit compulsive when it comes to cleaning, and I tend to make everything harder than it has to be. Dusting is one of those chores I "over-do". I have a LOT of woodwork around my house, including built in bookshelves that I would always take every frame off of, spray down with furniture polish, then dust each frame and put it back. I would do this once a week, and it always takes forever and gives me a huge headache. I decided to dust with these one day, and I was AMAZED! They collect the dust without me needing furniture polish, and I finish in less than half the time. I still take everything down and polish it about once a month, but it isn't necessary to do as often as I had been. This, I believe, is a must have if you've got small, messy children and/or wood floors. This is a swiffer sweeper vac. It is rechargeable, I just plug it in after each use, so it is always ready to go. It is great at sucking up crumbs leftover under the table from mealtimes, and collecting dust that accumulates under furniture when you have wood floors. It doesn't cost too much, and it makes clean up so much easier. Also, my 5 year old LOVES to use it. She asks me all the time if she can sweep the floor with it. Added bonus? I think so. ;)This is also a new favorite for me, introduced by Vivian. I've been making my own laundry soap for awhile (read about it here.) and it has been working so well! I love the detergent, but the only thing I miss sometimes is the wonderful scent you get from the laundry soap you buy at the store. Well, problem solved! Just add a small amount of these little beads to the wash, and everything smells so good! I've used it on several loads of clothes now, and haven't found any problems with it. It says it is safe for all fabrics. I washed my daughters bedding last night and was pleasantly surprised to see that it had freshened her entire room!So there ya go, just a few things that seem to make my life as a busy, homeschooling mom with too much to do and not enough time to do it just a little bit easier. I'm always looking for more efficient ways to do things and make things a little easier and less stressful, so if you'd like to share your tips and tools, they would be greatly appreciated!
Friday, June 24, 2011
My girl is 5!
A few weekends ago we celebrated Kaylee's 5th birthday. It is so hard to believe how fast she is growing up. We share a birthday, so on our actual birthday we celebrated by going to dinner at whatever restaurant Kaylee chose. She chose Carino's because she LOVES fettucine alfredo. The following weekend we had a party for her at our church, and borrowed a water slide (Thanks Chrissy!!) and had a slip-n-slide. The kids seemed to really enjoy themselves. She got a lot of really neat presents, including a few crafts she has been enjoying. She also has officially finished kindergarten! She is such a sweet and sassy girl, and watching her grow has been so wonderful. Here are some pictures from her birthday party.
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| We surprised her with a new bed for her birthday! |
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| Silly Boy |
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| Sack Races |
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| Sweet Kaylee and Mia |
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Update
Wow, I haven't blogged in a REALLY long time!! Real life is getting in the way of my blogging I suppose. I just wanted to write a little update, and I'm hoping to update more often soon!
I am now 32 weeks pregnant. I went to the doctor last week and I had lost 2 lbs. Josiah's heartbeat was 144 bpm, and he is head down. I'm really hoping that he will decide to come on his own, and that I can deliver naturally. I called multiple midwives in hopes of using one to up my chances of a vbac, but they seemed to fall through each time. Brian was also uncomfortable with the idea of a birth that wasn't in a hospital because of my previous complications. He is very supportive of whatever I decide to do, but I figured that being this far along and changing doctors may be stressful, and he is uncomfortable with it, and the fact that it hasn't worked out so far may be a sign that it isn't what is best for us. It makes me really sad to think I may never experience a natural delivery, but I know that a healthy baby is more important, and nothing is beyond God's control. So, that being said, if I don't go into labor by August 7th, I'll have a c-section scheduled for that day.
Onto other news, Kaylee is 5!! I'll update about her birthday soon. She is also going to be finishing her kindergarten curriculum tomorrow, Lord willing. That is one of the main reasons I have been so busy. Cracking down on schoolwork and working on her reading, plus all of the other duties that come along with being a wife and a mom just don't leave much time for blogging.
Yesterday we buried my Uncle, my Dad's youngest brother. He was only 37. It was a very hard funeral for many reasons. There were so many people there! It was amazing to see how many lives he had touched, and how many people loved him. My Mawmaw spoke at the funeral, and I am always amazed at just how beautiful that woman is. Truly beautiful, biblically beautiful. It is so humbling to see a woman of her faith stand up and acknowledge that it isn't her strength at all that keeps her going, but it is Christ's strength. What an amazing testimony. Funerals are hard because they are a reminder of a fate that we all face: death. We will all face death and judgement, the bible tells us this. (Hebrews 9:27) For a Christian, it should point you to Christ. It should remind you that although you have sinned, and deserve punishment, God has so graciously sent you a Savior, Jesus Christ. When you die, you don't have anything to worry about, because you are clothed in Christ' righteousness. This is grieving with hope, knowing that this world and everyone/everything in it is not the end, nor is it the best there is. The best is yet to come. I pray that some of those who aren't Christians that attended the funeral would turn to Christ as well, that hearts would be changed. I pray that God would use this time of mourning to bring people to repentance, and that they would put their faith in the only Son of God, Jesus Christ, who died to be a propitiation for the sins of all who believe. "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21
I know this blog is super long and probably should be about 3 different blog posts, but I just didn't have time for that. Sorry- maybe I'll be more organized and less talkative next time. ;)
I am now 32 weeks pregnant. I went to the doctor last week and I had lost 2 lbs. Josiah's heartbeat was 144 bpm, and he is head down. I'm really hoping that he will decide to come on his own, and that I can deliver naturally. I called multiple midwives in hopes of using one to up my chances of a vbac, but they seemed to fall through each time. Brian was also uncomfortable with the idea of a birth that wasn't in a hospital because of my previous complications. He is very supportive of whatever I decide to do, but I figured that being this far along and changing doctors may be stressful, and he is uncomfortable with it, and the fact that it hasn't worked out so far may be a sign that it isn't what is best for us. It makes me really sad to think I may never experience a natural delivery, but I know that a healthy baby is more important, and nothing is beyond God's control. So, that being said, if I don't go into labor by August 7th, I'll have a c-section scheduled for that day.
Onto other news, Kaylee is 5!! I'll update about her birthday soon. She is also going to be finishing her kindergarten curriculum tomorrow, Lord willing. That is one of the main reasons I have been so busy. Cracking down on schoolwork and working on her reading, plus all of the other duties that come along with being a wife and a mom just don't leave much time for blogging.
Yesterday we buried my Uncle, my Dad's youngest brother. He was only 37. It was a very hard funeral for many reasons. There were so many people there! It was amazing to see how many lives he had touched, and how many people loved him. My Mawmaw spoke at the funeral, and I am always amazed at just how beautiful that woman is. Truly beautiful, biblically beautiful. It is so humbling to see a woman of her faith stand up and acknowledge that it isn't her strength at all that keeps her going, but it is Christ's strength. What an amazing testimony. Funerals are hard because they are a reminder of a fate that we all face: death. We will all face death and judgement, the bible tells us this. (Hebrews 9:27) For a Christian, it should point you to Christ. It should remind you that although you have sinned, and deserve punishment, God has so graciously sent you a Savior, Jesus Christ. When you die, you don't have anything to worry about, because you are clothed in Christ' righteousness. This is grieving with hope, knowing that this world and everyone/everything in it is not the end, nor is it the best there is. The best is yet to come. I pray that some of those who aren't Christians that attended the funeral would turn to Christ as well, that hearts would be changed. I pray that God would use this time of mourning to bring people to repentance, and that they would put their faith in the only Son of God, Jesus Christ, who died to be a propitiation for the sins of all who believe. "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21
I know this blog is super long and probably should be about 3 different blog posts, but I just didn't have time for that. Sorry- maybe I'll be more organized and less talkative next time. ;)
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
27 weeks
I had another check up today, and all went well. I gained 9 lbs from my last visit, which was a bit of a shock to me. I now weigh 127. Josiah had a good growth spurt, and is taking up lots of space in my tummy. His heartbeat was 139. Now I can not only feel him kick, but I can see him as well. Today was also the first day that someone else actually seen him kick, congrats Chrissy for being the first to see it! ;)
Over the weekend I spent a few hours sorting and separating clothes I've saved from Bubba and some my sister gave to me. It was a LOT of work, but I feel so blessed to not have to worry about buying much for this baby. For probably the first time ever, I'm prepared early and have nothing to "get done"...well, except buying a car seat. It is a great feeling.
I've also been struggling to find adequate joy in this pregnancy while remaining sensitive to those around me who are longing for children. I'm not exactly sure how that looks. I've read lots of blogs on it, and try my best, but it is difficult.
Friday I get to meet my brother and his family. Words can't express how excited I am!! I've talked to him a lot over the phone, but finally getting to meet him, my sister in law, and 2 beautiful nieces is SO exciting!
And, I have a 3-d ultrasound scheduled for the 21st of this month. Truthfully, I don't prefer to have one...I'd prefer to wait and see what my little munchkin looks like when he comes out. But, I had told Kaylee she could come to my last ultrasound to find out the sex before I knew they didn't allow children, so I thought this would be a fun way to make up for my mistake. I'm sure I'll post pictures afterward.
Over the weekend I spent a few hours sorting and separating clothes I've saved from Bubba and some my sister gave to me. It was a LOT of work, but I feel so blessed to not have to worry about buying much for this baby. For probably the first time ever, I'm prepared early and have nothing to "get done"...well, except buying a car seat. It is a great feeling.
I've also been struggling to find adequate joy in this pregnancy while remaining sensitive to those around me who are longing for children. I'm not exactly sure how that looks. I've read lots of blogs on it, and try my best, but it is difficult.
Friday I get to meet my brother and his family. Words can't express how excited I am!! I've talked to him a lot over the phone, but finally getting to meet him, my sister in law, and 2 beautiful nieces is SO exciting!
And, I have a 3-d ultrasound scheduled for the 21st of this month. Truthfully, I don't prefer to have one...I'd prefer to wait and see what my little munchkin looks like when he comes out. But, I had told Kaylee she could come to my last ultrasound to find out the sex before I knew they didn't allow children, so I thought this would be a fun way to make up for my mistake. I'm sure I'll post pictures afterward.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Today
Wow! It has been nearly a month since I blogged last! I've been really buckling down on schoolwork with Kaylee so that I can finish the curriculum I have now and improve her reading so that this year we can start first grade. That is very intimidating considering she is only turning 5 in June, but I've been working with her for 2 years now, and looking at the kindergarten curriculum reminds me that those are all skills she has already mastered. Anyhow, not the point of today's post.
Today has been one of those *I just want to curl up in a ball and cry until my kids act better* days. Moms, you know the kind of day I'm talking about. My kids woke up this morning and immediately started fighting. My son spent the first 30 minutes trying to agitate his sister, then we ate breakfast and he threw a huge fit because I cut his bagel up (like he asked me to!), I had to make him leave the table twice, and finally breakfast was over and it was time to start schoolwork. Usually doing schoolwork with Kaylee is an enjoyable time for me. I absolutely love watching her learn, and she is so easy to teach! She rarely gives me any trouble, and when she does, it is usually just whining about having to do things "like the grown ups do it". Today was new territory though. Today she had to step completely out of her comfort zone, and it was NOT fun for either of us. She had to cut out pictures of 6 different fruit/vegetables. There were 4 baskets with stories on one side and 4 empty baskets next to them, and they wanted you to read the story and guess which fruit/vegetable went with each story, then paste it in that basket. She did great with this part. There was a banana and a carrot left over, and they wanted her to make up her own little story to tell about each of them. I read her the directions first, and she said she didn't want to do it. I told her it wasn't optional, and that I would help her. I told her to be thinking of a story as I was reading the different stories out loud. When it came time to tell her story, she pitched the biggest 2 year old fit I've seen from her in awhile. My child has a very vivid imagination. She walks around all day making up songs, telling stories, playing with her babies. She even had imaginary friends! Clearly she doesn't lack the skill to do this kind of work. She was terrified though. I immediately saw myself in her, and understood how she felt because I often feel the same fear when I'm forced outside my comfort zone. We talked about it for awhile, I read some verses to her from the bible, and we prayed about it. I helped her with the first one, and told her we would go to lunch and then come back and she could do the second one, so she should be thinking while we are gone. I was really ready to sit down and cry at that point. It had already been a stressful day, but having my child flat out refuse to do her work was over the top for me. It made me feel for teachers who have that problem in a room full of children, not just one. It is a learning process for the both of us, but I had to explain to her that "I'm not doing it" just wasn't an option. I don't expect perfection, but I do expect her to try.
So, with all that said, I was pleasantly surprised when we came home and I told her to go sit at the table and think about her story while I put Bubba to bed, and she DID IT! She was very excited to tell me the story she had thought of all on her own. It was very short, and wasn't quite descriptive enough, but I was proud that she had tried. I asked her what helped her through this so that I'll know how to help her when we have this problem again, and she said that praying helped her to feel better. She doesn't know it, but that little girl teaches me so much everyday. As I try to train her in the fear and admonition of the Lord, I'm so often reminded of how I fail, and how God, as a loving Father, disciplines me. She has reminded me of my need to be courageous, not fearing man but fearing God. I am totally dependent upon Him and I need to go to him in prayer, His grace is sufficient.
Today has been one of those *I just want to curl up in a ball and cry until my kids act better* days. Moms, you know the kind of day I'm talking about. My kids woke up this morning and immediately started fighting. My son spent the first 30 minutes trying to agitate his sister, then we ate breakfast and he threw a huge fit because I cut his bagel up (like he asked me to!), I had to make him leave the table twice, and finally breakfast was over and it was time to start schoolwork. Usually doing schoolwork with Kaylee is an enjoyable time for me. I absolutely love watching her learn, and she is so easy to teach! She rarely gives me any trouble, and when she does, it is usually just whining about having to do things "like the grown ups do it". Today was new territory though. Today she had to step completely out of her comfort zone, and it was NOT fun for either of us. She had to cut out pictures of 6 different fruit/vegetables. There were 4 baskets with stories on one side and 4 empty baskets next to them, and they wanted you to read the story and guess which fruit/vegetable went with each story, then paste it in that basket. She did great with this part. There was a banana and a carrot left over, and they wanted her to make up her own little story to tell about each of them. I read her the directions first, and she said she didn't want to do it. I told her it wasn't optional, and that I would help her. I told her to be thinking of a story as I was reading the different stories out loud. When it came time to tell her story, she pitched the biggest 2 year old fit I've seen from her in awhile. My child has a very vivid imagination. She walks around all day making up songs, telling stories, playing with her babies. She even had imaginary friends! Clearly she doesn't lack the skill to do this kind of work. She was terrified though. I immediately saw myself in her, and understood how she felt because I often feel the same fear when I'm forced outside my comfort zone. We talked about it for awhile, I read some verses to her from the bible, and we prayed about it. I helped her with the first one, and told her we would go to lunch and then come back and she could do the second one, so she should be thinking while we are gone. I was really ready to sit down and cry at that point. It had already been a stressful day, but having my child flat out refuse to do her work was over the top for me. It made me feel for teachers who have that problem in a room full of children, not just one. It is a learning process for the both of us, but I had to explain to her that "I'm not doing it" just wasn't an option. I don't expect perfection, but I do expect her to try.
So, with all that said, I was pleasantly surprised when we came home and I told her to go sit at the table and think about her story while I put Bubba to bed, and she DID IT! She was very excited to tell me the story she had thought of all on her own. It was very short, and wasn't quite descriptive enough, but I was proud that she had tried. I asked her what helped her through this so that I'll know how to help her when we have this problem again, and she said that praying helped her to feel better. She doesn't know it, but that little girl teaches me so much everyday. As I try to train her in the fear and admonition of the Lord, I'm so often reminded of how I fail, and how God, as a loving Father, disciplines me. She has reminded me of my need to be courageous, not fearing man but fearing God. I am totally dependent upon Him and I need to go to him in prayer, His grace is sufficient.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
22 weeks
Well, it appears the 30 day challenge wagon has loaded up and left town. Maybe it will come back and visit when life settles down. ;)
The past week has been crazy hectic, but I'll update on all that later. For now I just wanted to journal about my dr appt this morning. I had my 3 hour glucose test done, and an ultrasound 2 weeks ago. Both came back normal. They changed the due date to August 7th. I gained a whole 2 lbs, bringing me to 118. Baby's heartbeat was 135, and he apparently REALLY likes my bladder. Or hates it. There was traces of blood in my urine that the dr said is caused by the baby putting too much pressure on my bladder and irritating it. He doesn't always sit that low (Sometimes he is in my right ribcage) but this morning he was especially low and hurting me. All in all, as long as he is happy and healthy, I'm happy to endure pain. I've been really thinking lately about what it is going to be like having another little baby around. I love babies, a LOT. The newborn stage is probably my favorite stage of their lives, because it seems to pass so quickly. I know, it all passes at the same rate, but parents will understand my logic. ;) I'm so excited to meet Josiah, and watch our little family grow. =)
The past week has been crazy hectic, but I'll update on all that later. For now I just wanted to journal about my dr appt this morning. I had my 3 hour glucose test done, and an ultrasound 2 weeks ago. Both came back normal. They changed the due date to August 7th. I gained a whole 2 lbs, bringing me to 118. Baby's heartbeat was 135, and he apparently REALLY likes my bladder. Or hates it. There was traces of blood in my urine that the dr said is caused by the baby putting too much pressure on my bladder and irritating it. He doesn't always sit that low (Sometimes he is in my right ribcage) but this morning he was especially low and hurting me. All in all, as long as he is happy and healthy, I'm happy to endure pain. I've been really thinking lately about what it is going to be like having another little baby around. I love babies, a LOT. The newborn stage is probably my favorite stage of their lives, because it seems to pass so quickly. I know, it all passes at the same rate, but parents will understand my logic. ;) I'm so excited to meet Josiah, and watch our little family grow. =)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
My biggest insecurity
Today I'm supposed to post a picture of my biggest insecurity. Really? I'm not sure how I would go about posting a picture of that. I'm not 100% sure I really want to even answer this question at all. ;)
In my close relationships, or I guess any relationship for that matter, I am very insecure about confrontation. For as long as I can remember, my family's way of dealing with problems was to not deal with them at all. You either act as though nothing ever happened, or you stop speaking. In fact, Brian is probably the only person I have ever felt comfortable voicing my feelings and concerns to. This, obviously, is not good. Problems WILL arise in relationships, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life pretending that I'm not hurt by things that should hurt me. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life cutting ties with people that have hurt my feelings. It has taken a lot of work, and is still a work in progress, but with help I now have the tools I need to be confident in confronting problems as an adult.
In my close relationships, or I guess any relationship for that matter, I am very insecure about confrontation. For as long as I can remember, my family's way of dealing with problems was to not deal with them at all. You either act as though nothing ever happened, or you stop speaking. In fact, Brian is probably the only person I have ever felt comfortable voicing my feelings and concerns to. This, obviously, is not good. Problems WILL arise in relationships, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life pretending that I'm not hurt by things that should hurt me. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life cutting ties with people that have hurt my feelings. It has taken a lot of work, and is still a work in progress, but with help I now have the tools I need to be confident in confronting problems as an adult.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Something that has made a huge impact
I'm thinking that this 30 day challenge will have to be a Monday-Saturday thing, because Sundays are just too busy for me to be able to blog. Today I'm supposed to post a picture of something that has made a huge impact on my life recently. I'll update it and add a picture later. The thing that has made a huge impact on my life is my 4th pregnancy. My last pregnancy ended at 15 weeks in miscarriage, so this pregnancy has been completely different than my others. I am now more aware of the chances of miscarriage. To be honest, I had never really been concerned about my other pregnancies. I just took for granted that because I was pregnant, I would have a happy healthy baby. Now, I count every single day with this baby growing inside of me a huge, undeserved blessing. It is scary to think that at any moment, I could no longer be pregnant. This can cause me to react one of two ways: Either I will live in a constant fear of the unknown, or I will trust that God has complete control of life and death, and nothing will happen apart from His perfect will. Sometimes, I teeter-totter between the two. I try not to live in fear, but alas, I'm still fighting my flesh. A few nights ago I was going through my emails and came across one a dear friend sent to me right after the miscarriage. It was so sweet, and encouraging. I was very blessed to have had so many strong Christians around me to build me up and keep me focused. Still, the sad feeling loomed over me for the next couple of days. Then, yesterday at church, our preacher talked about Christians suffering using Hebrews 12:3-17. You can listen to it here. I really enjoyed the sermon, and felt conviction and joy both at the same time. I needed that. I was reminded all over again that God knows my every need, and he provides everything I need at the perfect time, according to His will. This pregnancy is going well. I've seen the baby, heard the baby, and felt the baby. I pray that in about 4 more months, I'll get to hold this sweet little boy in my arms. Most of all, I pray that God's will be done, and that I would praise him through it all.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Who inspires me
The person who most inspires me is my Mawmaw. She is a wonderful, godly woman who has taught me more in her actions and lifestyle than probably any other person. She is a Mom to 8 children, and numerous grandchildren and great grandchildren. She has always made holidays so special, and I'm pretty sure she is responsible for teaching me the true meaning of Christmas. Not that our parents celebrated anything other than Christ on Christmas, but I really learned from her. I remember we would sit down and she would tell us the story of Jesus birth, and we would each have to pick out a bible verse that we liked, and go around the room and read it and say why we liked it. Then she would give out presents. Now, I know how tight money can be, and can only imagine how tight it is with such a large family, but her gifts always meant the most to me. She would make us gives like bunny rabbits, and one year he made us pillows that had a bible verse on it. I still have those things. =) Now she gives us each $2 dollar bills and writes on them. She has endured much hardship, with more grace and dignity than I have ever seen. She is forgiving, loving, and kind-always. Now, I'm sure she fails, and has no problem letting you know her shortcomings. But, at the heart of it, she loves Jesus and desires to serve him and bring glory to his name. There is nothing more beautiful than that in a woman. It wasn't until I was saved that I truly realized that the things she does, the way she acts, the grace she shows is not from herself or for herself, it is a gift of God used to glorify God. I pray that I'm half the woman she is one day.
"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
Friday, March 25, 2011
Something I'd like to do before I die...
I'd like to fly on a commercial airplane to some beautiful place I've never been! I've never been on a commercial airplane, only on a little plane at a flight school. That was really a neat experience, but only a glimpse into what it is like on a large plane. As much as it terrifies me, I'd love to fly somewhere someday!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
A person I couldn't imagine life without...
That is easy. That would be my most amazing, wonderful husband. He is always the person I want to talk to about anything- good or bad. He understand and knows me in ways that nobody else ever will because for a great portion of my life, he was there. He is so gracious with me even when I don't deserve it. Praise God for sending me such a loving leader who loves me in a self sacrificial way.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Favorite Artist
Just so you know, I have a really hard time picking a favorite anything. I'm the kind of person who wants to have multiple favorites. ;)
I really like Chris Tomlin. I like his voice, and I love his music. Yes, this is going to be a very short blog, but I've got 2 loads of laundry surrounding me and it is almost time to cook dinner. =)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Funny stuff =)
My girl is full of laughs today. Today we found out the sex of our newest baby...it's a BOY! We thought it would be cute to have her read the ultrasound picture to find out the sex, and we recorded it. Those of you who are facebook friends can see the video here. I love how after she reads the word boy, she tries to go to the next picture as though it will reveal something different, like she is really having a sister lol!
This evening we decided to watch the movie Where the Red Fern grows. I LOVED the book as a child, so I couldn't wait to watch the movie again. This was her first time seeing it, and when Old Dan passed away and they buried him she started to laugh. Confused, I asked her why she was laughing at that. Her response, "Because it looks like they are trying to grow that dog!" caused Brian and I to laugh for the next 5 minutes. I won't lie, I actually bursted into laughter again just typing this. She has been gardening a lot with her Daddy lately, so I guess she naturally thought that if you bury something in the ground it MUST be with the hopes of something growing.
This part isn't so funny, but I thought I would note it anyways. Before starting dinner I was laminating and cutting out pictures for my Wed. night class tomorrow when Kaylee walked inside crying. I figured she got in trouble or something because she wasn't crying very hard. She came and sat in my lap and told me that she had fallen off of her bike and hit her head on the concrete. She wasn't wearing her helmet. She told me she was calling for me but I didn't come. I felt terrible, so I babied her for a bit and got her some ice. We sat outside and watched Daddy finish changing the oil while I held the ice on her head. Brian said that he was trying to console her when she fell, but she kept saying, "Momma, hurry up, come here Momma". Break my heart! :( After giving her a bath tonight I can see the biggest bump she has ever had so far. She was so tough though! My baby is growing up so fast!
This evening we decided to watch the movie Where the Red Fern grows. I LOVED the book as a child, so I couldn't wait to watch the movie again. This was her first time seeing it, and when Old Dan passed away and they buried him she started to laugh. Confused, I asked her why she was laughing at that. Her response, "Because it looks like they are trying to grow that dog!" caused Brian and I to laugh for the next 5 minutes. I won't lie, I actually bursted into laughter again just typing this. She has been gardening a lot with her Daddy lately, so I guess she naturally thought that if you bury something in the ground it MUST be with the hopes of something growing.
This part isn't so funny, but I thought I would note it anyways. Before starting dinner I was laminating and cutting out pictures for my Wed. night class tomorrow when Kaylee walked inside crying. I figured she got in trouble or something because she wasn't crying very hard. She came and sat in my lap and told me that she had fallen off of her bike and hit her head on the concrete. She wasn't wearing her helmet. She told me she was calling for me but I didn't come. I felt terrible, so I babied her for a bit and got her some ice. We sat outside and watched Daddy finish changing the oil while I held the ice on her head. Brian said that he was trying to console her when she fell, but she kept saying, "Momma, hurry up, come here Momma". Break my heart! :( After giving her a bath tonight I can see the biggest bump she has ever had so far. She was so tough though! My baby is growing up so fast!
I love...
Ok, I intentionally skipped day 11. Truthfully, I don't like some of these questions. I probably should have read them more thoroughly before deciding to go ahead with this challenge. Day 12 is supposed to be something I love. I've posted about my family, friends, salvation, and bible-so in an attempt to not be so repetitive, I'm going to post about something else I love. FOOD!
I made these brownies awhile back, they are called Cobblestone Brownies-and they are GOOD! I like all kinds of different foods. I love to try new food, and am generally not a picky person. Now, don't think this is just the pregnancy talking...I've always been a lover of good food. I guess that's what happens when you grow up with a Momma that can cook good. Sometimes I still crave her food! =)
Some of my favorites are currently crawfish, mushrooms, fried porkchops, mashed potatoes, a special green bean recipe that includes bacon, zuchinni..Ok, let me stop before this list gets too long. You get the point...food is good!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Day 10
Day 10 is a picture of the person you do the most "messed" up things with. I didn't really want to participate in this one-not because I don't do "messed" up things- but because I don't desire to do "messed" up things. I don't want to post on the internet as though my greatest friendships are the ones that cause me to sin. Indeed, they are not. My greatest friendships are those that show me my sin, hold me accountable to the word of God, pray for/with me, and have a desire for sanctification.
So, that being said, I'll post a picture of some of those friends. Make no mistake, we are great sinners. We fail all the time. However, we have relationships that are rooted deeply in the love of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that, we desire to fight the flesh and glorify His name.
The person who has gotten me through the most
The person who has gotten me through the most would have to be Jesus Christ. Now, I've not seen him face to face, so a picture of the cross will have to do.
A little over 2 years ago, God lead us to a church in Mont Belvieu, Tx where we heard a sermon on how Christians ought to live, and what true repentance is. God used our pastor and that sermon in a mighty way, breaking through my prideful heart and my "good person" mentality, and cutting to the core truth that would bring me to my knees: I am a great sinner against a Holy God and in desperate need of a Savior. That is when I first trusted in the gospel, the true gospel. I grew up knowing about Jesus, but had never understood my need for Him as my Savior. I would call myself a sinner, but never contemplate the depth of my sin, or the punishment the bible said it deserved. Sometimes, at night, I would pray to God and say sorry, but never with the intentions of changing my ways. I had never truly repented, I had never turned my eyes to Christ. There are a lot of people in my life that have helped me through difficult situations, and truly been there for me more times than I can count, but, without Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, they are all meaningless. If Jesus Christ is not my hope in this lifetime-I have no hope at all. This entire life, every breath, is in vain if my prize is not in heaven, seeing my Savior face to face. Jesus Christ gave his life as a ransom for the sin that I deserve punishment for. Without him, I would be destined for hell for all of eternity.
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 1 Timothy 1:15
For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. 1 Corinthians 15:3-5
Friday, March 18, 2011
A picture that makes me laugh
A few months ago I pulled out our wedding video and watched it with Kaylee. After the video, she disappeared to her room, and came down like this. It is her Cinderella dress (over her clothes) with her play heels and a fitted sheet over her head as a veil. The picture is cute enough, but the part that makes me laugh is that she pulled the sheet out of her dirty clothes. She had peed in her bed the night before, and forgot I guess. I asked her where she got the sheet and she said, "My dirty clothes..." The look on her face completely changed when she realized she had peed on it and it was now on her head. She was totally grossed out and quickly took it off lol. The girl is silly, and never ceases to make me laugh. =)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
My treasure
My bible is probably my most treasured item. Most days, I don't treat it like it is my most treasured item. Sadly enough, some days, I fail to even open it.
Still-this is where God reveals Himself and His will. This is where God tells me of his all sufficient grace when I fail. This is the ultimate authority in my life, and the unchanging, unwavering truth. If I hear something crazy from some preacher and want to know if it is true, I can go to God's word. No matter how many times I open it and read the same words, I'm ALWAYS learning something new-God is always working in me. In other countries people are persecuted for even owning a bible-yet in America we have them everywhere and don't really stop and think about what a treasure it really is.
This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Trading places
Who would I like to trade places with for one day? I can't name anyone. I've pretty much got it made where I'm at now. God has blessed me, and I'm thankful for all of his goodness to me.
I would, however, like to spend a day with a large (6+ kids) homeschooling family, just to see how it works for them. I've always been amazed at how women can handle that many kids and most times just my 2 stress me out. ;)
I would, however, like to spend a day with a large (6+ kids) homeschooling family, just to see how it works for them. I've always been amazed at how women can handle that many kids and most times just my 2 stress me out. ;)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Just noting
I just wanted to blog for my memories...because if I don't, I'll forget. ;)
My little uterus tenant has now decided that when I lay down to relax would be the perfect time to do jumping jacks. I've read that this is because my movement during the day lulls them to sleep, so when I lay down he/she wakes up to play. This is a special moment in every pregnancy, when you no longer have to try to figure out if you are feeling movement or just gas. ;) I've definitely been feeling little jabs a LOT today!! =)
My little uterus tenant has now decided that when I lay down to relax would be the perfect time to do jumping jacks. I've read that this is because my movement during the day lulls them to sleep, so when I lay down he/she wakes up to play. This is a special moment in every pregnancy, when you no longer have to try to figure out if you are feeling movement or just gas. ;) I've definitely been feeling little jabs a LOT today!! =)
Favorite memory
My favorite memory would have to be becoming a mom for the first time. There is an unexplainable joy that comes with becoming a Mom. Somehow, some way, all of the pain your just endured seems to just disappear when you first hold your newborn in your arms. Of course, the new mom bliss wears off after about a week or so of no sleep. ;) It seriously changed my whole world in ways indescribable. I'm thankful that God blessed me with my sweet little girl almost 5 years ago!
Monday, March 14, 2011
My favorite night
Sorry the picture is such poor quality- it is a picture of a picture and its the best I could get.
My favorite night was my wedding night. =)
Not only because it is the night I married my best friend, but it is also the last time we were able to have both of our families together and semi-happy at one time. These pictures are very special to me because I am almost certain it will never happen again. ;)
I love both of our families very much.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Favorite tv show
Saturday, March 12, 2011
My closest friend
Friday, March 11, 2011
It's all about me!
1) I like to eat. A lot. You can't tell by my size, but I struggle with eating way too much. If dinner is really good, I'll have to push my plate out of reach to keep from stuffing myself to the point of misery.
2) My daughter is terrified of men. There are only a handful of men she even feels comfortable talking to. Why is this a fact about me? Well, I'm kind of the same way. Brian is the only man who isn't family that I've ever been close with.
3) I am very blessed. God has had mercy on me and saved my wretched soul. He has given me a loving, godly husband, and beautiful children. He has given me a church with wonderful preachers and a great church family. My friends are amazing, and some of them are closer than family. My family is a huge blessing and I love them so very much. All of these things and more I'm forever thankful for.
4) I cook pretty much everyday. Not only do I prefer home cooked meals as opposed to eating out, I'm a huge fan of saving money. Surprisingly, I don't really LIKE to cook. I like to eat much more than I like to cook.
5) I'm not creative at all. Not even a little bit.
6) I tend to talk way too much. I think it runs in my family. ;)
7) I only trust a handful of people to keep my babies for me. I have a great fear of what will happen when Brian and I aren't around.
8) I've never been on an airplane. Well, not on a commercial flight anyways. Once Brian took me on a small airplane for an anniversary.
9) I don't watch scary movies, ever. I have nightmares as it is, so watching a scary movie is a guaranteed night of nightmares. No thanks, I'll pass.
10) I REALLY miss Astroworld! Especially since my kids are getting bigger. Kaylee loves riding rides at carnivals, and I wish we could have gone to Astroworld together. :/
30 Day Challenge
I've jumped on the 30 day challenge bandwagon. At first I didn't want to add something to do that I would just forget about, but oh well, we will see how it goes. ;)
Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your favorite night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your favorite day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your favorite night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your favorite day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
18 week check up
Today I went back to the Dr. for my monthly check up. I was super excited about this appt because it had been so long since the last one, and I've been super nervous. Anyway, everything is good. Heartbeat was loud and clear, it was 147. The baby has really grown a lot, and I'm definitely feeling the effects of it. I am easily out of breath now, and if I eat too much the baby really makes me pay for it. I've gained 6 lbs, which makes me a whopping 116. ;) Still, the Dr said it was a bit too much. I hear this every pregnancy...and usually about this time. He told me I should lay off of the sweets and fried foods, which happen to be two of my favorite things right now! In the back of my head I was thinking, "Hmm, I planned on making fried pork chops for dinner". My blood sugar was also a little high. It was 136, and she said normal is 100 or below. It is probably because I had just eaten breakfast and drank a glass of cranberry grape juice. She didn't seem concerned about it, so I won't be either. I also opted out of the trisomy test today. That is the test where they check for down syndrome and other abnormalities. Whether the test were to come back positive or negative, my outcome remains the same, abortion is absolutely not an option. Children are a blessing, even if they aren't "perfect", whatever that is. It breaks my heart to think a mother could love her child any less due to an abnormality. Sure, I understand the huge task it is caring for a child with such great needs, but it is still your child. The Dr told me of a patient who had a baby with severe down syndrome. He said the child is around 7 now, and every time he sees the mom she asks why he didn't terminate the pregnancy. That just breaks my heart that a mother could look at her child and wish he/she wasn't there. My Dr doesn't terminate pregnancies anyway, but he told me of a Jewish group downtown that would terminate christian pregnancies. He also said there were a few Muslim Dr's down there that love to terminate christian pregnancies. Interesting, eh? Last, but certainly not least, he scheduled the ultrasound!! I will go in 2 weeks to, Lord willing, find out the sex of the baby!! I am SO excited to see the little munchkin! =) I'll also have my glucose test done the same day.
This picture isn't from today, but it is from Monday and will have to do. ;)
This picture isn't from today, but it is from Monday and will have to do. ;)
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